Random Rim Jobs
I swear. True story.Photo Lotto 24
Posted on January 10, 2012
I’ve never tried to fist my ass and it’s likely that I never will. And I suppose this chick’s not doing that either, but I hope that’s on it’s way, if she likes it.
I swear. True story.
We’d Already Fucked
Posted on August 04, 2011We’d already fucked that day. It had been a long couple of days without any fucking at all, which was not our style. There was no good reason we hadn’t fucked, but that day our dry spell ended.
After a long walk that included getting ousted from the outdoor patio of a restaurant because we had Isis with us – something that pissed me off even more when I saw that the patio welcomed children to the tune of a communal toy on which a kid could roll around the patio, annoying the humans – we took turns showering. We’ve developed a habit where he waits in the bedroom for me when I’m wrapped in my big, fluffy robe fresh out of the shower. He takes the opportunity of the easy-to-open robe to give my pussy, and almost always my ass, too, a nice munching.
We didn’t fuck, which I know disappointed him. I know he’s disappointed whenever we don’t fuck.
Later, when it was time to change from our street clothes to our comfy clothes, I suggested we fuck. He had a big smile on his face and said, “I was hoping you’d say that.” We fucked, and it was good.
He almost always goes to bed before me. He’s told me time and again that no matter how late I come to bed, that if I want sex, I’m to wake him up. I know that. If I wake him up for sex he will not be cranky, quite the opposite.
I had been watching some tv and reading some sexy stories. I had read, again and again, the stories the Viking wrote about the very fucking we had had and they still turned me on. At one point I realized that if reading about the fucking we had done in the past was turning me on, that I could actually have more of the same, thereby not only turning me on, but getting me off.
We’d already fucked that day. But I hadn’t come. I wanted to come.
I went to the bedroom and took off my comfy pants. He knows that if I don’t have any pants on that he is welcome to have his way with me. Sometimes he even takes my pants off and has his way with me anyway, but if my pants are already off he knows I want it.
I told him I wanted to come. He licked my pussy. He licked my ass. The Viking knows how to lick me just right. He also knows what makes me come, and just a tongue – even a very skilled one – wasn’t going to do it.
He began putting fingers in me. I could tell by the way he was finger fucking me that he wanted to fist fuck me. I had thought I wanted to come a different way, but as I relaxed and he put more fingers into me and lubed up his hand, I wanted that whole hand.
The moment when he just pushes past the opening the first time is fucking glorious. It’s when people less experienced with fisting will back off, but those who are experienced know to push on.
By that time I had the Magic Wand on my clit. His hand was in my cunt. By then I was not feeling delicate in the least. I felt strong. He knew it. He knew he could be rough with my cunt.
After a little bit he pulled his hand all the way out and pushed it all the way back in. Again. And again. All the way out. All the way back in. Punch fucking my cunt. Absolutely no hyperbole there.
His whole hand was pounding my cunt and I still wanted more. I wanted his cock in there too. No, I wanted his cock in his hand in my cunt; I wanted him to jack his cock off inside my cunt. He’s done it before. It’s fucking dirty and fucking wrong and when I’m in the mood for it it’s fucking right.
When I’m like that I have no clue how the Viking is able to accommodate my demands. “Put your cock in my ass while your fist in in my cunt.” “Jack off inside my cunt.” “Hold my legs back while you pound me.” He’s a lot more flexible than I realize.
When I’m demanding like that I ask for things that a couple of minutes later I forget. More than once I’ve told the Viking to pull out of my pussy and come on my tits or my face, and then by the time he does actually pull out of my pussy and come on my tits or my face, I’m pleasantly surprised. I’m glad he remembers.
So when he wasn’t able to get both his cock and fist into my cunt I definitely wasn’t disappointed because by the time I had my loud orgasm that hopefully made the neighbors jealous of the great fucking sex we have, I had forgotten I had made the request.
We’d already fucked. And we fucked some more.
I swear. True story.
You’re Not Finished Yet
Posted on August 03, 2011[Another of the Viking's stories that has been on Fleshbot. I suppose they like the dirty stuff.]
We were both so horny that we groped and kissed only briefly before I forced my cock into her. We fucked primally for a while before I pulled out and made my way down to her pussy, leaving a trail of wet kisses.
I spent time using my mouth on her pussy before pushing her legs up and forcibly holding them with a hand behind each knee. With her like that I had full access to her asshole, and took full advantage, licking and tonguefucking with abandon. This continued for some time, rolling her onto her side then her belly and slipping 2 fingers into her pussy as I continued tonguing her ass. I love how she pushes her ass back onto my face when I have my tongue in her ass. So deliciously crude and nasty.
But after continuing that for a while, I rolled her onto her back and put my cock back into her pussy and pounded her until we both lie there, sweaty and breathing hard. After catching our breath, she rolls over onto her knees with her shoulders on the bed, ass in the air. “Put it in me from behind.”
That view of her pussy and ass is so exquisite that I had to take a moment and worship with my mouth once more. But only for a moment, before I slipped my cock into her cunt. As I fucked her, I teased her asshole with my thumb, eventually pushing it all the way in. That got a very favorable response. I continued fucking her ass with my thumb until she asked for more. I slipped my thumb out and replaced it with a finger. I added another and started rubbing my cock which was still in her pussy.
In time I slipped my fingers from her ass and replaced them with my cock, eventually coming deep in her ass.
“You’re not finished yet,” she said when I pulled out of her ass. Silly girl. I had no intention of being finished with her yet. She flipped onto her back and grabbed the Hitachi. I lubed up a couple fingers and slipped them into her pussy. Two, three, four. In to my thumb, then all the way out, twisting all the while, stretching her and opening her for what was about to happen.
I added more lube, tucked in my thumb and slowly pushed the rest of my hand into her. I love that point the first time my hand is going into her, when the base of the thumb clears and my whole hand gets sucked in.
I fisted her and, as usually happens, started playing with her asshole. I soon had 2 fingers in her ass in addition to the hand in her pussy. The fingers in her ass, palm facing up (and toward my other hand), let me rub the hand in her pussy. That was mind blowing. I spread the fingers in her ass so that I had one on either side of my other hand.
Soon I was pounding her with my hand: pulling all the way out before thrusting it back in. The whole time with those fingers in her ass, feeling every move of my other hand. Then, with a little rearranging of my hand, I started rubbing her gspot with a couple knuckles. Between the Hitachi on her clit, my hand in her cunt, and my fingers in her ass, she was soon trashing and bucking and screaming through her orgasm.
She’d finally had enough, and we soon had fallen asleep in each other’s arms.
I Was Sleeping …
Posted on July 27, 2011I woke as she came into the bedroom to join me for the night. She slipped off her PJs before climbing into the bed, which is generally an indication that she is looking for sex. How could I refuse? We kissed for a bit, caressing and groping each other. I was rock hard by the time her hand found its way to my crotch.
“Mmm,” was all she said before moving down to take my cock in her mouth. She quickly had me moaning from what her mouth was doing to me. She sucked me and handled my balls, squeezing and pulling, driving me wild.
After a time she sat up on her knees, and swung a leg over me. She grasped my cock and positioned her pussy over it. She used her weight to force my cock into her and proceeded to rock and grind, making me arch to try to force my way deeper into her. She moved off her knees and onto her feet, leaning back to steady herself with her hands on the bed. Now she had even more control and raised and lowered herself over the entire length of my shaft. It was exquisite.
“Now it’s your turn to work,” she said before letting herself flop backwards onto the bed.
She lay on her back, legs splayed. I knelt before her. Moving between her legs, I slid my cock into her pussy. We fucked. Slow, fast, gentle, hard. I grabbed her breasts, one in each hand, the way rope would: close to her chest and encircling each as much as possible. They’re so wonderfully ample that I can’t get my hands anywhere near completely around them. I squeezed. Hard. I leaned down to give each nipple a brief suck and tug with my teeth. I shifted my grip to place a hand on the front of each breast and squeezed again. She moaned. I moved my hands away but she grabbed my wrists and placed my hands back where they were. “Ok,” I thought, “I can have fun with this.”
As I continued to fuck her, I squeezed and kneaded her breasts. I put weight on them & on her chest, crushing her into the bed. I grabbed them roughly, puling on them: not the nipples but rather a full handed grab. I used her tits as handles to pull her towards me as I pounded into her cunt. I could feel my orgasm slowly building, peaking slightly and falling off. Then peaking a bit higher, then higher until it washed over me with an intensity that I don’t recall feeling for a long time, if ever. I let out a primal, incoherent noise as I came, emptying into her. I really don’t remember ever having that intense and completely ecstatic of an orgasm before.
I continued my rutting as wave after wave of pleasure flowed through me and out my cock. Finally spent, I slipped wetly from her and collapsed on the bed.
We cuddled and talked. As we did, my hands wandered over her gently. She lay next to me on her stomach and my hands found their way to her ass. My fingers idly slipped between her ass cheeks which were slick with our mingled juices. I massaged her asshole with a fingertip, before moving further and slipping a finger into her cunt.
As I explored her with my finger she shifted to spread her legs for me, while half heartedly protesting that I should sleep. Too late for that. And I had had such a wonderful orgasm, I felt compelled to ensure that she was adequately rewarded.
I tossed back the sheets and she rolled onto her back, legs wide. I settled into my favorite place of all, and kissed her deeply. Licking her clit, I began fingering her: rubbing and probing her gspot. I could feel her pussy grabbing my finger and I added a second. Then a third and a fourth in quick succession. She was so aroused and relaxed that in no time I had my whole hand in her. My tongue on her clit made way for the Magic Wand.
I fucked her with my hand, pounding into her. Going slowly when she needed me to. Being brutal when she needed that. As is usually the case, my now hard (again) cock found its way into her ass and I started assfucking her while continuing to fistfuck her cunt.
Soon she came, arching and bucking. My cock left her ass but I continued fucking her with my hand until her eruption subsided and we both lay there, exhausted and satisfied.
True story.
[This has been featured on Fleshbot. They seem to like the dirty, sexy stories.]
Sweet and Innocent 3
Posted on July 24, 2011[Continued from "Sweet and Innocent 2."]
I would have never guessed that your mouth moved like everyone else. I’m not sure what that has to do with hearing your voice.
Well, I’m assuming it’s yours, Your back is turned, but I believe that tattoo on the arm is the same one that is in one of your profile pics. I think it said something about “That’s my big booty”, and had a big EB on it. I guess I could be wrong again, however.
My voice is a pretty basic voice.
Yep, that’s my ass. I forgot that I had posted the link. That photo is actually how my current partner found me.
Well, it’s very nice.This is my soapbox, so just take it for what it’s worth, and I’ll stop bugging you.
You know I think you’re…ummm…pretty much perfect, and I think you could do so much better for yourself. I think you deserve to be respected, adored, and not treated like a piece of meat. But at the same time, I respect that you’re doing what you want to do. You only live once, right?
I’m sure I’ll still follow your blogs, because I think you’re a great writer, and you just have a way with words. It’s rarely seen, especially from the people on that Cupid site. I’m sure you know what I’m talking about.
You do know that sometimes people just want to fuck, right? That both men and women can treat their sexual partners as objects, right? That one can be respected and adored AND have depraved, nasty, dirty sex, right?
So how could I do better for myself? With you? I bet you would want a monogamous commitment from me. Guess what would happen? No matter how great you thought you were giving it to me – and I doubt you’d be able to be as dirty as I need – I’d cheat on you. I’d cheat on you a lot.
What I have right now is a partner who loves me, respects me, adores me, and who fucks me really nasty and dirty like I need it. He, like you, thinks I’m pretty much perfect; I know because he tells me often. He also understands and accepts that I like fucking people other than him. It’s not because he’s lacking in any way, or because there’s something wrong with me, it’s because that’s the way I’m wired.
I still only have one blog that has multiple blog posts. Thank you for liking my writing. Please do keep reading, as I’m sure you’ll find something you find familiar.
That Cupid site? You mean this one, OkCupid? Actually, I don’t know what you’re talking about.
Yes. I do know that some people just want to fuck like wild dogs and beyond. Been there done that many times myself.
No. I didn’t say that you could do better by being with me. I just meant that you could demand better if you so choose. But you’re wired that way, so what can you do? It sounds like you have everything you need. And yes, if I was in a relationship with you, I would want it to be monogamous. Who wouldn’t want you all for themselves?
So how do you stay safe when you meet all these strange guys? What if one ends up being an axe murderer or something?Reading something I find familiar? What? Am I going to see a blog about some loon that thought he could change you into to this monogamous trophy wife?
And you do know that someone has a pretty bad blog about you out there on the net, right?
I just want to make this clear… I’m not some stalker dude, so all you have to do is tell me to get lost, and I’m gone. But if I was able to find you on Facebook, would you friend me? Or would I be sorry that I did?
And I did mean the OKCupid site.
I don’t need to demand better because I have it: I have someone who fucks me really, really well AND not only doesn’t mind that I fuck other people but also gets off on it. I do have everything I need; I’m really fucking happy and I hope he is as well.
Who wouldn’t want me all to themselves? Someone who loved, respected, and understood me, that’s who. Someone who knew that I tried to be monogamous and I failed miserably at it.
I stay safe by being smart. Just like meeting dudes in bars, meeting guys online means you never know for sure. No one ever knows for sure. I meet guys in person in public and asses them. I didn’t always; sometimes I’d have guys come over sight unseen and to fuck me. But I’m really good at sussing people out via email/text/phone before I meet them. For example, I certainly wouldn’t invite you over for a fuck because you wouldn’t appreciate that I’d take you to my bedroom, suck your cock until I HAD to have something in my pussy, and then request you fuck me, hard. Then during said hard fucking I’d likely request that you come on my stomach, tits, or face – it would depend on my mood at the moment.
I’m not saying that my “system” is foolproof, just that it’s worked for me. It’s ridiculous that people (and I’m not saying you’ve done this) think that meeting people via online fora is necessarily less safe than meeting people via other means; no matter what no one knows anything for sure.
You’ll see our verbatim conversation; no need to elaborate.
Yes, I do know that my ex-husband’s then (possibly current)-girlfriend shittily wrote something shitty about me. I also know that in said post she admitted to battering me, and that she libeled me; I wrote all about it (somewhere on Random Rim Jobs but I don’t have the energy to search for my responses right now).
Considering your considerable Google skills I surprised you’ve not yet found my Facebook account. But that’s for actual friends and family. I have no clue if you’d be sorry.
I haven’t heard from him since. I’m not surprised at all.
I swear. True story.
Sweet and Innocent
Posted on July 18, 2011I may be having a little too much fun on OkCupid, but sometimes I just can’t help but have some fun with the special ones. I don’t seek them out, I only respond, so I feel somewhat justified.
Sweet profile! I’m with you on the there, their, and they’re. I have that in my profile also. And I find your profile erotic. So do you think I’m bullshitting you right now?
45% Enemy 38% Friend 27% Match Message from dejavu1670
But you’re in the burbs.
Actually, I’m even further than that. Now if I was in Bloomingdale, then I would be in the burbs. I used to live in Schaumburg, but that’s beside the point. Is it a requirement to live in the city? I’m just wondering.
Have you read my profile? If you like getting hotel rooms in Chicago then it’s not a problem.
Of course I’ve read your profile. It’s written to get a mans attention isn’t it? Which brings up a question. Is your profile for real? Because from your pictures you seem like a sweet and innocent gal, and not one who would list what you do in your profile. You have that red hair that is very attractive, and you seem very genuine just from looking at you. I’m finding it hard to believe that you’re actually what your profile is leading everyone to believe. That’s just me. Have a good one, Jeff
Those pictures are actually me, and I don’t see the point in lying because I have a bad memory; best to stick to the truth so I don’t mess up.
I did not write my profile with the intent to get attention from men only; I like women too.
I think it’s funny that you think I look innocent; I am anything but. I don’t need to prove to you that I like fucking, that I’m not ashamed of it, and that one of my specialties is threesomes with couples, but it’s all true.
Fair enough.
That was the end of that conversation. Thought it was done until I got another message from him.
Just an FYI…I still think you’re sweet and innocent deep down, and the red hair just tops it all off. So whenever you want just one real man, let me know and I’ll take care of ya. Jeff
I am literally laughing out loud, thank you for that.
There is nothing sweet and innocent about me; that’s in your head. You, sir, are projecting. Take a look at my blog if you don’t believe me: http://randomrimjobs.com
I have had one real man (whatever the fuck that means). I have had several real men. My ex-husband, on whom I cheated quite a bit, was no less real than any of the men with whom I cheated on him. Also, my ex-husband’s cock was huge, one of the major reasons I married him.
No, I prefer several real men, and some real women as well. No one person can satisfy me. My current partner sure is trying, what with fisting my pussy on the regular and giving it to me in the ass when I so request, but I still sucked that other guy’s cock the other night.
Oh, and my hair’s not red, it’s brown.
[Don't worry, there's more from this guy.]
I swear. True story.
I Do Fuck!
Posted on July 14, 2011I know I’ve not been writing about the fucking lately. That’s because for the most part (more to come on that), I’ve been fucking just one person. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with fucking just one person, but I do think writing again and again about fucking the same person can be boring, and reading about the same sex again and again can be really boring.
Which is absolutely not so say the sex the Viking and I have is boring. It’s anything but. I’m the one with the problem: I lack imagination or the ability to write about something old in a new way. Which isn’t to say the sex the Viking and I have is old.
Fuck, I’ll just refer you to @darkdracie‘s blog post of text messages from the Viking about our sex life. Kind of convoluted, I know.
Have you read it yet? Really, you’re that lazy? It’s just a click. Also, Gracie’s blog is sexy and fun. Way sexier than this one has been lately, which is why I referred you. I’m nice like that.
So now that you’ve read an account of my sex life – an account, by the way, the reading of which made me feel tingly in my bathing suit place – you know that I have some very fun and very dirty sex with the Viking.
Yes, reading it made me feel horny and I had actually done it. Just in case you’re confused, the Viking fucked me the old fashioned way, then he went down on me with his come in my pussy, then he got most of his hand in my pussy while putting his dick in my ass, then I asked for the whole hand in my pussy, then I came from the dick in my ass/fist in my pussy/vibrator on my clit combo, then the Viking came in my ass. I really do make the Viking work quite hard. So far he’s not complaining.
I swear. True story.
