Random Rim Jobs
I swear. True story.Photo Lotto 22
Posted on December 10, 2011
No, I don’t have a foot thing. This photo is neat though.
Photo Lotto 21
Posted on December 06, 2011
These are lovely breasts and the nipples are interesting. It looks like the far nipple is somewhat more inverted than the near one, but think I could have some fun with both of 'em. This is the size of tit I like; they're fun to play with.
I confused by the color of her right fingers. Or maybe they're not her fingers. Nonetheless, it looks odd because it hasn't been explained, at least not in this photo.
I swear. True story.
Photo Lotto 18
Posted on November 24, 2011
“Nice shot. Nice boobs. Cute photo.” A rave review from the Viking, who asked to use this shot for his site, Dave’s Babe of the Day. If you like looking at dirty pictures then take a look.
I’m not sure why he’s surprised that the photos I feature in my “Photo Lotto” series are good. He’s seen them all and they’re all good, dammit. Go ahead, search here under “photo lotto” and see all the sexy, sexy photos I’ve featured.
This photo is good for a number of reasons. Of course there’s the symmetry. Or near symmetry. I can’t figure out if they look any more alike than two young, white, long-legged, waxed pudenda’d women with pulled-back, long, light brown hair and relatively-large-for-their-body-size breasts with relatively-small-for-their-size ariolæ normally would.
I’m not very good at noticing family resemblances, which goes along with not really looking at people’s faces because I’m too shy to make eye contact. When I talk to people I tend to look at their mouths, and these two ladies’ mouths are quite similar. I thought I wasn’t good at recognizing people until I met the Viking. He literally thinks everyone of a particular race looks alike. It’s not racist, it’s oblivious.
This photo is pretty fucking amazing. I love the tub and would have many, many baths in a tub like that. I wouldn’t like cleaning it, but the clean tub feeling every time I did.
I prefer the less tanned lady myself. I just think harsh tan lines look creepy and unnatural, and then I think of the damage.
The Viking didn’t like the photographer’s feet in the photo, but I think that allows one’s imagination to have some fun. The feet are obviously a man’s so I like to think of things the three of them were doing both before and after this photo was taken. The possibility of incestuous relations makes it even hotter. I don’t want to fuck two sisters but I think I could have some fun watching a hot guy fuck two women who look like they could be sisters; it’d be nice and dirty.
I swear. True story.
Photo Lotto 12
Posted on October 14, 2011
I like to think I’m not a boob man, but I clearly am, even if I’m not a man (gender). These lovey breasts would be a whole lot – A WHOLE FUCKING LOT – of fun for play.
Her tits, as well as the rest of her look like a fun. One would hope that her body not only looks like fun but also that she has a great personality and all that.
But it’s mostly those tits. Ok, maybe it’s been “too long” since I’ve been able to handle any but my own, but I promise I could have a whole lot of fun ….
Nipples in my mouth. Face buried between breasts. Skin smelling warm and clean.
I don’t even want to get into the possibility of what’s inside those pink panties ….
I swear. True story.
Photo Lotto 10
Posted on September 20, 2011
I’ve had fantasies similar to this. I’ve fantasized that I’m a counter and everyone’s using me as a counter but they otherwise ignore me and the fact that I’m naked. This looks like it could be fun.
I swear. True story.
That’s a lot of Dick (2)
Posted on September 18, 2011[Continued from "That's a lot of Dick (1)."]
The conversation petered out after I assured him that I was not thin. No big loss considering I’d never met the guy and chances were slim there’s be chemistry between me and a group of huge-cocked guys.
My friend Viola and I were hanging out at Chez Shazam-Viking one night when I told her about my various online and real life adventures. Though I do write a lot here, there are things I leave out; my friends get to hear the whole truth.
I told her about the guy I had that date with. After I posted the story he responded. What he had to say wasn’t worth posting here, but that and his photo were shared with Viola. She, of course, agreed with me and thought I was completely in the right.
I told her about a guy who wanted to meet me, but decided not to when I couldn’t promise him sex. Yes, I did give him my usual line, “I don’t guarantee sex unless you guarantee cash.” I’ll be sure to write about him soon.
I told her about a great date I’d had. Well, I wasn’t sure he thought it was a date. He paid for everything and the subject of my breasts came up so I thought it was, but when I said we should see each other again, closer to his place, he thought I was interested in seeing the neighborhood. I was more interested in seeing his cock, which I suspected might be substantial.
I showed Viola Mr. 10″‘s picture on OkCupid as I got ready to tell her about our “encounter.” She recognized him immediately. I was used to San Francisco being a small town – where everyone knew everyone – but Chicago is a big city. At least that’s what I thought. I didn’t think one of the many, many guys I’d seen on OkCupid would have also been known by a friend I had in person.
Viola not only knew about Mr. 10″, she had seen him – via Skype. I doubted he really had a 10″ penis; she assured me that he did. She said they had a lengthy conversation about what he wanted to do with his big cock and huge – 6’6″ – fit body. Viola is a tall girl, which is why it’s hilarious that the Viking calls her my “little friend,” so finding a guy who can truly tower over her is rare. While his dick was big and his stature was tall, he still couldn’t handle truly being in charge, which I suppose comes with being only 25.
Viola and I talked about Mr. 10″ quite a bit. All of his stories together didn’t ring very true. If he was a medical resident how was he able to spend a significant amount of time online chatting with random women, since if he chatted with Viola and I – who knew each other – with whom how many other women who didn’t know each other must he have chatted? How could he afford to buy a house in Lincoln Park, a ritzy Chicago neighborhood? When did he have time to go to England or Italy to visit his family, which he claimed to do a couple times a year?
Alas, Viola hadn’t chatted with him in months and I hadn’t heard from him since our original chat. Both Viola and I had suggested to Mr. 10″ that we meet and he had either begged off – claiming he didn’t think he’d be able to handle a lady as tall as Viola – or simply faded away – apparently not able to handle all that is me. Either way, the guy had proved himself to be a wimp who couldn’t handle women who knew what they had to offer or what they wanted.
Neither Viola nor I had heard from Mr. 10″ for quite some time and neither of us ever expected to do so. Even if a guy has a giant cock he’s still likely to be an insecure idiot. That may be a lot of cock but neither of us are likely to find out.
I swear. True story.
Photo Lotto 9: Fun With Produce
Posted on September 14, 2011
Cucumbers make great dildos, but she’s not doing it right. What you need to do is peel the cucumber, leaving enough on one end to act as a handle. Cucumbers are very wet when peeled, which makes for some nice lube. (I’d use an organic one just to be safe.) However, like any lube, you get it on your hands and everything’s harder to grip. So leave enough peel on one end to grab on to that cucumber so you can fuck yourself or your partner.
I swear. True story.
