Random Rim Jobs

7:04 P.M.

I eat too much too late at night.  Cleo’s waste is becoming more solid – good, she goes where I have to clean it up.  I’ll have to put newspapers down tomorrow.  I want some food.

My little baby is so sweet.  I have to film stuff to send to [Step-Sister]‘s graduation celebration.  Or maybe I should go.  Shit I don’t know.  It’s all so dull.  I want a car.  I want to go for a drive.  I want more money.  I want the cat shit smell to go away and now.  Why does she have to be such a monster?

I have more pretty flower photos from Derrick D, the very close friend I’m going to miss terribly when I move.  I’ve known DD for almost three years after having met through Craig’s List Casual Encounters.  I responded to his “Fag Looking for a Hag” ad.  I hope when I move I’ll be able to find a fabulous gay friend, one who will have no interesting fucking me.

This one, left, is pretty and pink and seems to have something dirty and phallic coming out of it.  Another of nature’s butt holes.

The pink flowers in particular remind me of flushed body parts.  Of blood-engorged dicks and clits and lips, both facial and nether.  This flower to the right reminds me of lips of all sorts.

On the other hand, this bud that’s just barely opening looks like a cock head.  That looks like a pee hole with a nice, pointy head.  That looks like something I could literally get my mouth around.

The flower in this last pic seems to be hiding something.  Something mysterious down in there.  Maybe it’s warm and wet and squishy.  Oh, sorry, it’s just a flower, it’s not an ass.

Derrick and his new iPhone are taking some lovely photos around San Francisco.

I swear.  True story.

[Continued from "Jade's Vacation (Part 4)."]

At first Jade was just taking. She was on her hands and knees with Teal licking between her thighs. She felt Teal’s fingers on her hard nipples and she felt her squeezing her tits, too. Jade loved having her tits kneaded and having her pussy licked at the same time; the combination always made her gush quickly. Now with a woman doing it, she couldn’t even breathe. She gasped and groaned as her pussy sprinkled gold. She was in a lust frenzy as she panted for her orgasm to overflow.

“AAAAAHHHHH,” she howled as Teal pushed a dainty fingertip into her snug anal accordion. She bucked wildly as the fingertip found its way inside her opening and began throbbing to the same tempo her cunt was getting tongue fucked.

The orgasm was so wet Teal nearly drowned as she guzzled hungrily. She flattened her tongue out and pressed Jade’s clit firmly as she vibrated her mouth on the heated button. More come gushed from Jade and she dipped her head down and buried her screams into Teal’s parted slot.

Teal’s clit was engorged; it was protruding and thick like one of Jade’s nipples. Jade began sucking it, nursing it, mouthing it, like it was a little cock. Bobbing her head up and down and feverishly licking and lapping and reaching inside Teal’s fuck tunnel, Jade gathered more of her come and reached deep to feel the cushion of Teal’s aching G spot.

As Jade polished the cushion inside Teal, she felt the convulsion coming in her body. Teal was writhing wildly now, squirming and nearly bouncing Jade off of the top of her. Jade grinned wickedly as she watched in the mirror. She saw the effect she was having on Teal by using her pussy this way, saw Jason’s hard meat being pumped by his strong hands, and saw her own come soaking Teal’s face and tits.

“AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW DAMN. FUCK, I LOVE TO COME!” she growled wickedly as if the virgin Jade had just been posessed by some cock- and cunt-hungry demon.

Jason grinned at that sound and rose up behind Jade and pressed his aching cock into the snug wetness of her simmering cunt. He felt Teal begin to lap his balls and tease his asshole too as she guzzled the frothing jizz from Jade.

As his load spewed inside Jade, Teal released her last orgasm into Jade’s hungry mouth. Jade delved Teal’s ass with her tongue and lapped every drop of the woman’s cum from her thighs. She released more of her own honey onto Jason’s prick and into Teal’s lips. She shivered and ached as she felt them both begin to subside from their aggressive actions.

As she glanced at her two spent lovers, Jade felt the tingling ache between her legs begin to burn like fire. She knew she needed more.  She wanted more.  She had to have more

.

As Jade stepped out onto the balcony she quickly looked down below for the other couple. To her pleasure they were there sitting nude and inviting. Jade reached into her frothing slit and gathered some of her blended sauce and let it drizzle down from her fingers onto the man’s nude cock below.

As he looked up and smiled, the woman leaned over and licked it off of his perking cock. Jade smiled as she saw the woman motion for her to join them.

“I will be back in a couple hours, guys,” she chirped as she slipped through the doorway toward the stairs.

“Teal, Jason loves to have his ass played with when you are sucking his cock,” she advised as she watched the puzzled look appear on Jason’s face. “And Jason, if you come in Teal anywhere … don’t let her clean up.  I will get it when I get back,” she continued as she cupped her fingers over her seeping slot to keep the rest of her treasured gathering inside until the other couple had a chance to sample it.

[That's the end.  This Jade chick seems pretty fun.]

I’ve been going to what was then called Gay Day Parades since I was probably five or so.  My mother came out as a lesbian when I was four.  We then proceeded to go to “gay” events.  We went to pride parades and Equal Rights Amendment marches.  In my little brain, everything my mother took me to was “gay.”  At one ERA march someone asked me if I was for equal rights for women.  I said that no, I wasn’t into gay stuff.  Oops.  I was a kid, forgive me.

When I was a kid we lived in Santa Rosa and drove down to San Francisco for Gay Day Parades.  Santa Rosa suffers from being too close to San Francisco, and living in its shadow.  I learned this as a child when I had to take Greyhound buses between my mother’s in Santa Rosa, and my father’s in Redding (yes, you should feel sorry for me).  There were no direct routes between Santa Rosa and Redding because San Francisco was so close.  I usually went from Santa Rosa to Vallejo and then changed buses to go on to Redding.  I did this alone, and at the age of seven or eight.  These days parents barely let their kids out of their sight; I was alone on buses and in bus stations when I was under ten.

Once I changed buses in San Francisco.  That was the first time I saw a syringe in person.  It was on the street.  I was scared.  I must’ve told my mother how freaked I was, because I never again took a Greyhound through San Francisco.

Having lived in San Francisco for the last ten years, I’ve mostly avoided the Pride Celebrations because I know what’s going on and because crowds don’t do all that much for me.  But this year, with the prospect of moving away from San Francisco meant I should do the parade and other things that can only be done here.  (Though Chicago also had its Pride Celebration this weekend.)  Also, the Viking had never been to any Pride Parade.

Just before I moved away from Pasadena, back in January 1997, I went to the Tournament of Roses Parade.  I had lived in the San Gabriel Valley since 1990, and had done the parade route, along Colorado Boulevard, on a number of occasions.  The parade route thing meant walking around, people watching, drinking, and smoking pot, all between about 11pm and 4am.  By the time the parade came around I had usually walked home and crashed.  I would then watch the parade on tv.  However, with the prospect of moving away from Pasadena, I finally woke up early enough to attend a parade.  That was back when the Ex and I first got together so we were willing to wake up early for each other.  Also, he lived much closer to the Rose Parade route than did I at the time.

So with the Viking about to move from San Francisco, the putative gay capital of (at least) the US (if not the world), I figured it was my place to take him to the parade.  We got a ride with a friend who was to be in the parade, and then walked to the parade route, on Market Street.

We walked along the south side of Market Street, watching the parade.  Lots of local politicians.  Lots of animal-centric and -friendly organizations.  The Viking asked me what the deal was with all the animal stuff, and I explained that animal are like children to the gays.  I also pointed out that I was silly and obsessive about my animals, and that this is the kind of shit that happens when people don’t have kids.  Kind of like me with my animals.

On our walk we saw some interesting people.  We saw some families, including kids the age I was when I first began going to such parades, which I really appreciated.  We saw a shirtless blond guy wearing not only a belt and (rainbow) suspenders, but also a gas mask, because clearly he thought safety should be first.  He also had blond chest hair.  He was creepy enough that I requested the Viking and I move on, well away from him.  He wasn’t looking for conversation, for sure, but if I wanted to take a photo, I would have had to at least request such.

I decided I’d take no photos at the parade.  For the most part, the people who wanted to be seen, wanted to really be seen.  I have no interest taking pictures of people who want their pictures taken too much.

So, in the spirit of Pride 2010, I present my Gay Pride Lego people:

I love Lego. I love ‘em a lot. I also love – and find political and personally necessary – open gay pride.  I probably said this already, but I’d love, love, LOVE how open is San Francisco.  I know enough about Chicago to know that it, too, is a gay-friendly city.  I have no interest in living in a city that’s otherwise.

I swear.  True story.

This is the Russian’s bathroom.  The Russian has other things going for him, for sure.  Otherwise, the first time I saw this bathroom I’d've gone running – far, far away.

I wish this was some sort of joke, but it’s not.

The Russian is not a smelly guy.  He’s not dirty at all.  He is well-groomed.  How he actually becomes clean in this room is beyond me.

The Russian usually doesn’t bring chicks back to his place, and it’s obvious why.  But I can’t always host so I’ve been there more than once.  The first time, thankfully, I was quite drunk.  I was also horny.  And I remembered the Russian’s big, intact cock.

I wasn’t quite drunk enough when I took these photos.  Not quite drunk drunk enough to forget to take the photos.  Not quite drunk enough to forget what the bathroom looked like.  Not quite drunk enough.  Unfortunately, I can remember his bathroom.

I can also remember the Russian’s cock in my ass.  That is a much more pleasant memory than his bathroom.

I swear.  True story.

[Forgive my lack of enthusiasm, but this is the second time I've posted this.  The WordPress shitheads disappeared it.]

This looks like fun.  I wouldn’t mind being either one of the ladies with her tasty bits all exposed and ready for fun, or a person in the room with toys and lube so I can play with the tasty bits.  Maybe some gags, too, so the room doesn’t get too loud.  However, it would be interesting to hear ‘em all come at once ….

I swear.  True (lame) story.

Feeling kind of blah lately.  Not to worry, I’m still horny.

This photo has GOT to be doctored, right?  There appears to be a condom at the base of the cock but not at the bit going into her pussy.  And, well, it’s just fucking huge.

Penises don’t come like that, do they?  While I’m a size queen, I do think there’s such thing as too big.  If this penis is real, it is too big.  Poor guy has no clue what it’s like to get deepthroated.  He’d have better luck at getting the entire length of his cock into the ass of someone who was very experienced in the art of anally receptive sex, as the rectum is quite long.

Again assuming this picture wasn’t doctored, I wonder if he’s a grower or a shower.  If he’s a shower, where the fuck does he put it when it’s not hard?  What kind of underwear does he wear?  If there’s really a condom on his cock, where the fuck does he get condoms that fit from tip to base?

Why is he trying to fuck this tiny woman?  I can’t imagine his cock will get in her much farther since vaginas aren’t much deeper than four inches on average when fully aroused.  Surely her cervix will take a serious pounding from this cock.

I swear.  True story.