Random Rim Jobs

April 15 looms large in the minds of Americans because it’s the last day to file and pay taxes.  I had e-filed and paid both federal and California state taxes the day before so April 15 itself was not a day of panic.

Instead it was a day of fuck.  The day of fuck.

The day of fuck began, as all days truly do, at midnight.  The ‘mate and I had received Liberator’s Wedge and Ramp and were using them for the first time.  The cover of the Ramp already needs to be washed thanks to our April 15 activities.  The Ramp was very helpful when the ‘Mate went down on me.  I could lie back so my pussy and ass were on full display at the top of the ramp.  My legs flipped back to get those pesky things out of the way.  The ‘Mate went to town licking my ass and pussy.

Then, as is my wont, I wanted something in my pussy.  Something big and heavy and hard:  an NJoy Pure Wand a friend had so kindly loaned to me.  The Viking (who is also the ‘Mate) was happy to accommodate me.  He fucked my pussy with the Pure Wand.  Then, because when I’m in a mood like that I want more, more, more, the ‘Mate was nice enough to put his cock in my pussy.  Along with the Pure Wand.

At first he fucked me with his cock and continued to fuck me with the toy.  Then, because the Pure Wand is a really great toy, he realized he could leave it in place without fear that it’d fall out or get in the way.  This allowed him to concentrate on making his cock feel good in my pussy and up against the Pure Wand.  His cock and the Wand were happily cohabitating in my pussy.

Yes, it felt fucking fantastic.  The Wedge and the Ramp have found a place in the bedroom.  They can’t fit in the drawer o’ sex, but they fit nicely next to the dresser in which the drawer o’ sex is located.  And I’m gonna have to get me one of those Pure Wands.  [That Amazon Wish List button does work, folks.]

[To be continued ….]

I swear.  True story.

Dammit, he’s right.  I hate being a chickenshit.  But I also shouldn’t have to do all the work.

And I really do think people are playing jokes on me when they say some things, like they want to fuck me, or I should do things on webcam, because who would want to see me?  [This is NOT an invitation for compliments!]

Altar Boy called.  We’d not talked in a while, but it was nice to hear from him.  It had been a period of guys coming out of the wood work.  The nice thing was that the guys who emerged were guys I actually wanted to fuck again.

I met him and his friend out by the taco truck.  Then I took them up to the roof.  As is inevitable with me, the topic of sex came up in some capacity.  I assumed Altar Boy explained to his friend how we knew each other – met through Twitter, fuck – and geared my conversation accordingly.

Then they asked to see my apartment.  Altar Boy had already been in my place, several times, and really, it’s not all that, so I suspected this was some kind of ploy.  My place was a mess; I was embarrassed to have them see it.  Nonetheless, the three of us went to my place.

We were still talking about sex and being generally flirty.  It was a week day so I didn’t know if or when they had to get back to work.

I never said, “Would the two of you like to go upstairs and fuck?”  But neither did either of them say, “Let’s all go upstairs and fuck.”

Every once in a while I play a little game with myself where I don’t say what I want to see if someone else has the balls to say what he wants.  I did it the other day in a bar.  I was alone in a dive bar having a couple of drinks.  A guy sitting two bar stools over was clearly checking me out with the furtive glances of a shy guy.  I looked back and allowed some very obvious lingering glances.  The guy wanted to talk to me.  I wanted to talk to him.  But I decided I would let him move over one stool and begin the conversation.  I left without ever talking to him because he didn’t have the balls to talk to me.

The day in my apartment with Altar Boy and his friend was one of those times when I knew what they wanted, I knew what I would have done, and I decided to let them articulate their desires.  They never did.

Well, not completely.  I saw them to the door.  When they were about to leave they suddenly had the desire to see my tits.  I showed them my tits, but I wasn’t about to suggest any more if they weren’t going to do so.

They left.

Afterwords, I mentally kicked myself for not being ballsy.  But at the same time I didn’t think that I should have to do all the work to get a couple of guys to fuck me in all my holes.  I texted them to come back, but was told that it was too late, that I had choked.  I hadn’t choked, they hadn’t stepped up to the plate, dammit.

The friend texted me a few times, claiming he’d never had anal sex and wanted to give it a try.  I told him that he had make arrangements to make it happen.  He and I still have never had any sort of physical contact, much less sex of any sort.  I’m not holding out much hope.

I swear.  True story.

[Continued from "Holiday Cheer (Part 1)."]

Whiskey Dick showed up at Mary and Jack’s place.  He had been drinking.  CK and I had been drinking.

We chatted.  CK knew already how Whiskey Dick and I had met (Craig’s List, of course) and the nature of our relationship (fucking) and thought it was hilarious to quiz him on various things about me and us.  She seemed to think that because we were fucking and we liked each other that we should be “together,” whatever that meant.

Whiskey Dick and I were very comfortable with our arrangement, though things were a tad strained since he moved to a place not quite so convenient as a block away from my place.

The three of us were having fun.  I’m not sure who suggested it, but we decided to put on some of Mary and Jack’s porn.  We had the porn on in the background and continued to talk.

Porn being what it is, we were all slightly distracted from our conversation.  When the scene onscreen was a poolside threesome with two guys and a woman with the woman on her back, CK asked something along the lines of, “Why do her boobs go to the side like that?”

CK had huge breasts so I was a bit confused as to why she didn’t understand what gravity does to (natural) breasts when supine.  I tried to explain it to her.  She couldn’t comprehend.  She said her breasts didn’t do that when she laid down.  Really?  How could that be?  They’re huge and gravity is a constant force.

Of course Whiskey Dick took this as an opportunity to ask to see her breasts.  I had never seen them before either and was curious as to how they defied the forces of nature.

They did.  While very large – at least a G or H cup – there was little difference between bra-ed and braless regarding location.  Her gigantic breasts were high and firm.  And her pink areolas were the size of those seen on breasts a quarter of the size.  Her nipples were tiny as well.  CK had fucking amazing tits.

I was still a little irritated at CK’s lack of understanding about the plight of gravitational forces on fatty protuberances, but Whiskey Dick had no problem getting past that.  He was in boobie heaven.

He asked if he could touch her breasts.  He asked if he could touch my breasts.  At one point he had one hand on hers, one hand on mine, and both eyes on the porn that was still playing on the television.

Eventually she and I kissed.  We had been friends for years, and I never hid the fact that I was bisexual, but she was pretty uptight about girl-on-girl action, or anyone perceiving her as anything but straight.  I chalked it up to CK’s paranoid father, who CK said would burst in on childhood all-girl slumber parties to make sure there wasn’t any hanky-panky going on.  Apparently his mother was a lesbian and his worst fear was that his daughter would be as well.

So when CK and I kissed I think it was sort of a big deal.  For both of us.

We moved into Mary and Jack’s bedroom.  CK put on a pair of Jack’s pj pants and refused, despite pleading on my and Whiskey Dick’s parts, to take them off, ever.  Without vaginal penetration we had a threesome.

Whiskey Dick wanted to go down on her but she continued to refuse to take off her pants.  What CK did want to do was suck cock.  She was quite an enthusiastic cock sucker.  I recall thinking that she was enjoying herself a lot.

This was before I liked sucking cock so much.  I liked to suck cock, but it didn’t make my pussy wet and tingly like it does now.  This was before I had fully embraced cocksucking as something I enjoy rather than something I do for the guy’s enjoyment.  I believe sucking Whiskey Dick’s cock made CK’s pussy wet and tingly.  Which of course we never found out because of those fucking pj pants.

It was very late/early.  CK went to another bedroom to go to sleep.  I wanted to make sure she was ok and not freaked out by the whole incident.  She seemed ok.

By the time I got back to Whiskey Dick he was asleep in Mary and Jack’s bed and snoring quite loudly.  I woke him and we left.  In the wee hours of the morning the sun was bright and the cabs were scarce.

We walked toward my place while we looked for a cab.  Whiskey Dick could not get the huge grin off his face.  He kept saying, “That was so cool.  I’m so lucky.”  If he didn’t like tits before that night, he certainly did after.

Eventually we made it back to my place where I took care of my dogs.  I told Whiskey Dick he could sleep some at my house so we crawled in bed.

Only we weren’t ready to sleep.  All night long we’d both been denied good, old-fashioned fucking.  We were still horny as fuck.

Whiskey Dick and I generally had really good sex.  That morning he fucked my ass while I had a dildo in my pussy.  I came good and hard after all that build-up.

That might have been the last time I saw Whiskey Dick.

CK made me promise not to tell Mary and Jack what we’d done in their bed.  I kept that promise – for a while.  After CK and I had a falling out and were no longer friends I didn’t feel the need to keep her secrets any longer.  I certainly wasn’t ashamed of what had happened, and I told Mary and Jack something I had done.  I apologized to Mary and Jack for mistreating their bed without their permission.

I swear.  True story.

[Another juicy bit from Army Guy. This one, unlike "The Air Show," is a true story. But the things it has in common with that fantasy are very interesting, like his buddy, Jake, and a two-for-one deal. Army Guy and Jake were stationed in Germany at the time. --SSF]

One Thursday in July ’06, Jake and I were sitting around his place having beers when I got the idea to go to Paris over the 4-day weekend. We packed a cooler in the back of his Tacoma, ironed some “going out” shirts and hit the road. Hijinks ensued.

Anyway, on Saturday, we were riding the train back from Versailles (it’s about 20 miles away from Paris ) when we saw some cute girls sitting the back of the empty car. We sat down across from them and asked if it would be OK to sit there since this was the only available seat in the car.

Anyway, we all hit it off. Lisette was waifishly thin and had that severe bone structure that is en vogue for runway models. Marie had a healthier figure, cute rosy cheeks and an infectious smile. She was also the only one who spoke any English. They were both obviously younger than us, but we were barely limping by with our stumbling French. Jake speaks it pretty well, so he and Lisette hit it off. The four of us ended up having Thai food for dinner and then drinks and a nearby bar.

I had been pretending to ignore Marie off and on and was watching a World Cup match on TV. Marie went over to the couch Jake and Lisette were sitting on to complain that I was ignoring her. Jake told her she ought to do something to get my attention, so she grabbed him and kissed him. I don’t think either one of us were expecting that, but whatever. Lisette didn’t like this, so she went over to me, said something very sexy sounding in French and stuck her tongue down my throat.

Jake and I looked over at each other and had one of those conversations with facial expressions. We both agreed it was time to close the tab and get the hell out. We told them there was “something we wanted to show them” in our hotel room. They giggled, but thought it was funny, so we all headed back.

Well, about an hour later, Jake and I are both banging the girls on the big queen-sized bed in the room. Marie was adorable, and each time I thrust into her, she would squeak out “oui!” I reached around to rub her clit as I was sliding into her and she started screaming her head off and swearing in French. The people down below started banging on the ceiling, which kind of turned me on, knowing people were having to listen to us fucking. After she came, she wanted me to stop immediately because she said she gets too sensitive to have sex anymore after she comes, so she plopped down on the recliner to have a cigarette.

I hadn’t come yet, so Jake ordered Lisette to start sucking my cock and make his friend come. I think this was a little more of a varsity move than they were used to, but they had been desperately trying to look cool for us the whole night, so we were taking liberal advantage of the situation. Lisette asked her friend if it was OK. Marie shrugged a little too nonchalantly and took another drag on her cigarette, so Lisette wrapped her lips around my cock as Jake continued to fuck her from behind.

The blowjob wasn’t particularly good, so I had Jake tell her that I needed her to ride me. She did, and Jake had the good idea to put it in her ass. Amazingly (sadly?) he actually had a bottle of lube in his bag, so he lubed up and put the head of his cock against her ass.

I don’t think she had ever had anal sex before, much less have two guys fuck her at the same time, so it took about 10 minutes of encouragement and Cort going very slowly to finally get it in. During those 10 minutes, Lisette was staring at me with a wild look in her eye. I stroked her hair and planted little kisses on her, whispering in her ear what a good job she was doing. She had been trying so hard all night to be cool that it was beautiful to see her so vulnerable like that.

I don’t know if this makes me bad or not, but looking into those wild, icy-blue eyes while I could indirectly feel her being penetrated, inch by inch, was the most incredible sight to behold. I’m afraid I only lasted 1 or 2 more minutes once Jake started fucking her. She didn’t come. I wish we could have made her come.

After Jake blew his load, the two of them locked themselves in the bathroom, smoked more 100′s and giggled in rapid-fire French to each other. I reclined on some pillows and got dizzy, staring at the pattern in the wallpaper too long.

I knew it to be infatuation, but I felt like I was in love with both of them. I wanted to spend a month in Paris to lavish gifts upon them and have them show me their wonderful city. I would have to settle for asking them to breakfast. Jake was in love with both of them as well, and we agreed to invite them to stay.

As it were, they couldn’t because their parents would be looking for them if they didn’t get the last train to Versailles. What silliness was this? Why did their parents want them home? Because they were both 16.

[Continued from "What A Guy (Part 1)."]

From: S M <shazamsf@sbcglobal.net>
To: [Mike]
Sent: Friday, June 26, 2009 12:21:34 AM
Subject: Re: Its nice to say hello

I would welcome anyone telling me I’ve fucked something up in my blog or my SF Sex and Relationships Examiner articles.

I’m not sure what you would expect from me if you fly me to Florida.  Please be as explicit (or not) as possible, and I will be the same with you.

*****

Suzanne,

Nice to hear back from you. Everyday I read your twits and enjoy your “out there” attitude about what is on your mind and what you crave. I take you for being honest to what you put out there and not just spouting things for effect and attention. It is one of the things I enjoy about your twitter. As far as what I expect, well that can be a two edge sword with some women (used correctly ). I think “You can handle the truth” so I will not pull punches. I want a friend to come visit and get her dreams and fantasies fulfilled. I have a number of connections to make even the most decadent fantasies come true.

I once had a marred lady friend from Canada come for a visit with hubbies permission as usual and we went to the swingers club I am a member of and with no plans, we ended up fulfilling her dream of being the center of a 13 man (safe sex) gang bang with me photographing it for her and I being #13 as she was DP’d. One friend arrived as we were preparing to leave the club for airport, and in the van, got to fist fuck her and cum all over her huge tits.  She went right to the airplane with dried cum on her and did not realize it until she reached Atlanta. She got home to tell her husband all about it, and of course he had seen the 300+ photos I took prior, and they had a night of sex to remember.

For your trip, I would ask when we talked about some of those lingering fantasies you have yet to live out. I for one have a few and would love to find an open minded sex partner to fulfill them with. Upon your arrival in Tampa or Orlando airport, I expect you to be dressed as slutty as you can be, with no panties/bra on and picking you up and asking if you had done as I requested on your flight here. M request would be to make a sexual advance to your row partner and regardless of man or woman, to engage in mutual masturbation and getting them off, but not allowing yourself to cum, because you did not have my permission to get off without me being present. You will allow them to fondle you under your skirt and play with your tits while you finger fuck a woman or jerk a guy off to completion.

Upon arrival, I will pick you up and take you to a local area bar/restaurant to get a meal and also take advantage of the sexy mini skirt you have on, and tell you to let it ride up and sit yourself to allow others to peak at your legs and gander on your now wet cunt. I will occasionally finger your dripping pussy and lick my fingers quite blatantly and offer my fingers to you as well. During dinner we will go to the restroom and go into a stall where I will have you blow me and then bend over the toilet and tell me to fuck your dripping wet pussy so hard as you have been dying for it all day. I make you grip my cock from between your open legs and put my cock at the entrance to your cunt, and tell me to fuck you hard and in one stroke I bury it balls deep.

We will continue to fuck, regardless of anyone who enters, making you bite your lip to keep from screaming out from my complete strokes into your dripping cockpit. You will cum quickly and as you begin to relish in the waves of pleasures, I pull out my hard cock and begin to explore your tight asshole. I tell you to spread your ass cheeks wide open and I enter that tight ass, and stroke deep and hard and I will
explode and leave my cum deposit deep in your asshole. We then return to our table and I make you keep your legs spread as I like seeing the pool of cum leaking out of your ass onto your chair.

We will then leave the restaurant, and on the drive to the hotel at the nudist resort, I make you lean over and lick off your cunt and ass juice from my cock the entire ride home. Leaning over, I pull up your mini skirt and leave your ass exposed to any vehicle that may pull up alongside of us on the expressway. When I notice someone looking in, I tell you to reach between your legs and spread your pussy open and finger your cunt for their enjoyment.

Suzanne,that will begin your adventure to see me here in Florida and that is only the first few hours. The trip I hope will be something to quench unfulfilled desires so when you return home, it keeps you yearning for how soon you can return to Florida and get nasty with me and others.

Here to your ass being on the next available plane from SF to Tampa/Orlando. My treat of course.

Mike

*****

From: “S M” <shazamsf@sbcglobal.net>
To: [Mike]

Sent: 6/27/2009 2:54 AM
Subject: Re: Its nice to say hello

Should I make the trip I would need to be compensated for my time.

*****

Suzanne, time compensation? Are you really broaching that area? Seriously? What happen to two people who get to know one another and begin a fulfilling friendship and enjoy the company of one another without there having a fucking $ figure added to it. I was offering you a very nice getaway with a similar person and offered to fly and take you to a nice resort and have a nice experience that who knows, could possibly lead to more of such adventures. Being blunt, like you enjoy, I am not about hiring escorts. There are amazing ones close by. I do however enjoy knowing them and other sexually aware women because they are not afraid to say they love sex and I do not have to be someone else around them. I have been a BF to an escort (I harbor no jealously) and I appreciate what they offer, especially when they make the choice to be all that they can be to make the other feel great.It is disapointing that from all of which you write on Twitter and in your rimjob blogs, this is the first I have heard of you also requiring compensation. I too could be a male gigolo and in fact with my previous GF, was in the opportunity to assist as one.I am a realist and a man who enjoys dating and treating someone to a nice time. I have even had a 2 year LD relationship with a woman in Texas, who still is a friend though we broke up. I could not be the man she wanted, and I was truthful to her and let her know. She is now married and had a child as well. That was not in my deck of cards at that time.

Your stance in this rendezvous, is a date breaker to me. I was willing to pay your expenses to come and while here, but additional time payment is not on the table. Sorry.

I hope you give some thought, and if this is a prerequisite to us enjoying one another company, that at least we will still tweet. I am not sure if you follow me or not, but I have a feeling you don’t and maybe you will add me and get to know me and enjoy me in a different realm that you currently have.

Pardon me if there are errors, as I am using my phone to type this email. I will reread and hope to catch any T9 predictive corrections.

Mike
PS: As always, I hope you appreciate my upfront and honest replies. I am not even sure what you thought of my previous “explicit” events. They were not fantasies but realistic ideas of just a part of what I enjoy in life and sex.

*****

[Mike then continued to @ tweet to me regarding what I wanted to do when I was in Florida, asking what kind of alcohol I like, that he was enjoying himself at the nudist resort (though inexplicably he'd always capitalize the "n" in nudist.)]

*****

ShazamSF: Just because I want to fuck doesn’t mean I want to fuck YOU.

*****

@[Mike]:  @shazamsf, wow that was pretty well put out there Ducking and hoping it was not for me

*****

[Mike @ tweeted some more asking if I'd received his email.  So fucking annoying.]

*****

[I emailed that I had received his email.  At the time I was not planning to respond at all.]

___________________________________________________________________

Stick around, because it really does keep getting better.  And there’s another photo coming.

I swear.  True story.

My face smelled like balls.

The other night Pedro, one of the guys from “International Day, and Night,” called to invite me to a party.  He kept saying that it was a private party.  I assumed he meant I wasn’t to bring a bunch of my rowdy friends since the party was taking place at a friend’s apartment, but I asked to make sure.

He told me there would only be six to eight people at the “party” but that he really wanted me to be there.  I’m no dummy so I told him that if his idea of a party was to have me fuck everyone there that I wasn’t going to go unless he was willing to name a price.  That was a joke?

OF COURSE he assured me that that was not the case.  It was just that the neighbors were very sensitive to noise so they didn’t want anything too loud or too late.  Pedro told me that we’d more likely than not start out there with a few drinks and then go out dancing.

It was a Friday night, I had nothing else to do, and I figured it was good for me to get out of my Mission comfort zone every once in a while, so I showered and got dolled up a bit.

I took a cab to the designated party pad.  The “party” consisted of Pedro, me, and one other guy, our host.  A much less cool chick would have been at least a tad perturbed.  As I’m extra cool, I was not.

The three of us sat in the living room, where there was a bottle of Jose Cuervo, a salt shaker, and a small platter of lime wedges.  We each had a shot.  I pointed out to our host that the limes should have been cut much thinner for our purposes of taking shots of cheap tequila.

Our host, Alberto, pointed out that he didn’t know to what size he was supposed to cut the limes since he wasn’t Mexican – tequila being a Mexican beverage.  Alberto told me he was from Lima.  That’s in Peru, folks.

We each had another tequila shot, and then I got a phone call from a friend with whom I had to talk.  I walked down the hall of the Edwardian [After doing some research I may or may not be naming this style of architecture correctly.] apartment, past at least one bedroom and to the kitchen.  It was a nice apartment that was clean and didn’t look like a stereotypical bachelor pad at all.  After ending my phone call I rejoined Pedro and Alberto in the living room.

The tequila, another shot of which I probably had, was definitely doing it’s job, because I really don’t know how the three of us ended up in the bedroom which was adjacent to the living room.  The bedroom was large–there was a queen bed, a love seat, at least a couple of pieces of dresser-like furniture, and plenty of room to walk around.

Only I didn’t notice such things at the time because the the three of us were quite busy.  Of course I had fucked Pedro before (on two separate occasions), so I knew I liked him.  And Alberto had soft, hairless skin, a tight body, and a hard cock – yum!  We were having a whole lot of fun.

It seemed as though the next time I looked up there was a third guy there.  Huh?  I was having so much fun that I was happy there was someone else to join us.  I don’t recall ever seeing this third guy, Esteban (whose name I didn’t learn until much later, of course), with his clothes on – I swear the first time I actually noticed him he was already naked with a hard cock (this is NOT a complaint).

We happily welcomed Esteban, who was Alberto’s roommate.  At the time I remember thinking, and possibly saying, that it was only fair that he join us considering it was his place in which we were having our “party.”

There was a lot of cock sucking.  Per usual, I wanted ALL  of them in my mouth.  We didn’t try putting more than one at a time in my mouth, I think only because none of us thought of it.

A cock went in my ass.  It felt really good, only I hadn’t properly prepared for such an eventuality and I had to use the facilities soon thereafter.  As this was an Edwardian (I think) abode, finding the bathroom wasn’t the easiest of activities for me in my intoxicated state.

This type of place is long and skinny.  All of the major rooms, including the living room, any bedrooms, and the kitchen, were to the right of the hallway that ran the length of the place.  The bathroom was to the left.

Only bathroom, singular, isn’t quite correct.  This kind of place, which is very common in San Francisco, had split bathrooms.  Well, a split bathroom.  The bathtub and sink were in one room off the hall, and the toilet was in another room off the hall.  At the time I was drunk and had just been pounded in my ass and my mouth (at least) so my sense of direction wasn’t at its optimum.

I recall looking in the bath/sink room at least a couple of times because I was sure I just hadn’t looked hard enough for the toilet.  And it seemed as though the other doors off the left side of the hall were so far away from that room as to not be plumbingly associated.  Finally, I found the toilet and took care of business.

Afterward, I went back to the bedroom where the four of us continued our various permutations of fun.  I recall being on my back on the bed with one cock in my pussy and one in my mouth when I requested that all of them come on me at once.  I made it clear that I wanted to lie there whilst they all shot their wads on my face and tits.

But that wasn’t to be.  Eventually Pedro left.  At the time, though, I didn’t notice until he’d been absent for some time.

Alberto and I really seemed to like fucking each other.  Whenever we were alone on the bed we once again launched into making out, and his cock going into my mouth, which eventually lead to him fucking my pussy, again.  While we fucked I gazed upon his pretty, sweet face.

Alberto was on his back while I mounted him.  I slid my pussy over his cock.  Without preamble I felt Esteban’s cock pushing into my ass.  I remember holding still so Esteban’s cock could work its way into my ass.  And then I had a cock in my pussy and another cock in my ass at the same time and it was fucking glorious.  It felt so good.

I’m not sure how long the three of us were able to keep it up, but I do know it felt FANTASTIC and I will do it again, hopefully soon.

The three of us fucked some more, in various ways, and eventually one of us came. It was Esteban–he came all over my face after I insisted I wanted it.  Alberto and I really seemed to not want to stop fucking, or I was just drunkenly and hornily assumptive.  He and I fucked some more.  That sweet face; that smooth skin.

Then I realized I needed to get back home to my animals.  While I dressed we chatted.  I learned that Esteban was 25, Alberto was 23, and that though they were both from Lima they had met in San Francisco at a private English-language school.  I got Esteban’s phone number and then they called a cab for me.

Esteban has since made it clear he wants to fuck me again.  I want to fuck him too, but also Alberto.

I swear.  True story.

I want to go into Humphrey Slocombe and taste some ice cream.  They have these tiny metal tasting spoons and they’ll spend as much time with you as you want, and let you taste as many flavors as you’d like.  They’re so nice and friendly.  They must realize that a lot of people who go there are stoned out of their gourds.

I want to go there and taste a bunch of ice creams.  It won’t be busy at all so I won’t feel guilty about tasting every flavor and savoring each one for a LONG time.  Yum.  I’ll take a tiny spoonful into my mouth and slide it off the spoon.  Then I’ll push each tiny spoonful of ice cream to the roof of my mouth and let the bit of ice cream swim around my mouth, between my teeth, to all of my taste buds.  It’s all so fucking creamy.  I can smell it as I taste it, as if the smell is going to the backsides of my sinuses.  It’s so fucking good.

Then I’m on the counter.  I’m face down right at the register.  The register is going through me (this is a fantasy; anything can happen) but the employees can still work.  It’s almost as if I’m an enigma. But the customers can touch me because in order to get to the register they must walk between my legs.  My legs are wide open, my feet are bare.

In order to make any purchases people must walk between my legs.  I’m spread wide so each customer must snuggle up to my crotch in order to hand over cash to get his yummy, yummy ice cream.  Some slide their licked-clean tiny metal spoons into my ass.  In and out … in and out … in and out.  So slow, so nice.  And cold.  Some people bend down and lick as they’re sliding their tiny spoons into and out of my asshole.

Some people attend to my ass and slide fingers into my pussy as well.  Several people come into the shop and take it as normal that when making their purchases they play with my ass and my pussy.  My ass is always involved.  Eventually, I get wet enough that each customer is able to slowly and easily slip his entire hand into me.  The women fist me too.  Nice and rhythmic and easy.  In and out.  I’m so wet.  It feels especially good when someone’s fisting me and caressing my sphincter with her tongue simultaneously.

The shop starts to get busy.  No one can spend nearly enough time slowly sliding his fingers into my pussy and my ass; there’s a line forming.  The busier it gets in the shop the faster each person must thrust her hand into me.  Pretty soon, every time the register drawer opens there’s a fist punching my pussy.  Each time.  Faster and faster.  The shop is doing great business, as is my pussy.

Alternatively, I’m on my knees in front of the counter so I must suck and lick everything that’s put to my face.  Cocks are shoved down my throat.  Pussies are ground onto my face.  No matter what, all the store’s patrons can do whatever they want to me.  I’m a nasty, slutty tool for each person to use as s/he wants–my mouth, my cunt, my ass are all to be objectified, and heavily.

Harder and harder, faster and faster.  EVERYONE puts his hand in me.  They take turns thrusting into my wet, loose cunt.  Each time I grunt.  I can take it.  I can take more.  Until finally, I come.  I scream.  S-C-R-E-A-M out as I come.  Everyone looks up from eating their ice cream, but in a very nonchalant way.  “Yeah, that chick on the counter came because we were all treating her pussy like the sloppy cunt it is, but that’s so not a big deal.”

But then business slows down.  My pussy is spent, the store closes.  I sit on the floor naked and eat salt and pepper ice cream.  My legs are long and lean (it’s a fantasy, dammit) and stretched out before me.

I swear.  True story (of my fantasy).