Sunday Night Sex Show (Part 2)
Posted on March 3, 2011[Continued from "Sunday Night Sex Show (Part 1)."]
I lost track of the order of the other acts, but I do recall that every one of them read. Read from multiple sheets of paper. That’s not horrible, and it was a “reading” after all, but I was used to storytelling in the vein of the Moth where the performers weren’t allowed to have notes.
One of the the acts punctuated her reading with lyrics from Peaches’ song, “Fuck the Pain Away.” A good reading would have clued us into the fact that she was hearing the song – “Sucking on my titties like you wanted me, calling me” – and maybe periodically throughout the reading reminded us – “uuh … yeah” – but her reading performed the entire song between telling her story of being 16 and hooking up with older ladies at a drug-fueled party. Her performance was spot-on, but it was also very uncomfortable – she performed the whole song, most of which was completely unnecessary to convey the message that the song was playing while she was getting fucked silly by a group of of-age ladies.
Between the acts the hostess and co-hostess answered dirty questions and asked dirty trivia questions. The trivia respondents picked prizes out of a black plastic bag, no doubt the discreet packaging from the adult bookstore from which they were purchased. After winning on a trivia question having something to do with prostitution, the obnoxious laugher picked a selection of flavored condoms and said he didn’t need them. I reminded him that it was a good idea to use condoms with prostitutes and he kept them.
Because the performers were actually reading, not just using notes, they could perform for far longer than they should have. Every single one of the performers suffered from what I call SNL Syndrome – they went on way too fucking long. The crowd showed signs of restlessness and boredom for every performance.
Because the performers were actually reading what they wrote, it was obvious that they weren’t the best writers. One of the performers claimed her story was published in a literary journal of some sort, but after hearing it I had doubts as to the quality of said journal. The story was … confusing. I was listening, or at least trying to listen, but was put off pretty early when she explained to us what Second Life was. I’ve never been to the Second Life site (beyond finding the link just now) but I’ve known what it is for a good number of years. Don’t most people around my age?
After explaining that genitals have to be purchased and that her boyfriend was too cheap to bother, she talked about the awkward virtual sex they had. There was nothing sexy about it. Then the story – which didn’t seem to have a narrative thread – moved on to her agoraphobia diagnosis, which may have explained why she wasn’t having actual sex with her boyfriend, but did not explain how she was able to speak into a microphone in front of a crowd. I should add that as far as I knew the Burlington was not her home.
I won one of the trivia prizes by knowing how much money a recently arrested woman had in her vagina. I promised Viola that if the prize was a vibrator or other sex toy that she could have it since I already have plenty. Unfortunately I picked a Pecker Test Tube Necklace which is a “pearl” necklace from which a very thin penis-shaped “shot glass” hung. The necklace’s label indicated “I’m hot, buy me a shot!” which I suppose someone who whore the item with any “seriousness” would say. I put it in my pocket.
My least favorite performance involved a woman reading a 12 (!) part whine-fest about being single at the ripe old age of 30. Apparently if one is single at 30 there is something wrong. What fucking century is this?! Thirty is not old and being single is not a bad thing, but this chick certainly thought so. She claimed her friends tried giving her advice that ran the gamut from being less picky and less slutty, to being pickier about whom she dated and putting out more.
Yeah, I know I wasn’t single when I was 30 so I have no idea what it feels like, but I was cheating on my husband when I was 30 so maybe being single at the time would have been a good thing. I do know that the chick would be just as whiny and miserable if she had a boyfriend or a husband because she likes being whiny and miserable. She’s the sad one in her group of friends and she gets attention in the form of sympathy. If she were my friend (she wouldn’t be) I’d tell her to stop her whining and to get over herself already. If she just fucking relaxed she would be a lot more pleasant to be around and would be more likely to attract people. Also, just like women can smell desperation on guys, guys can smell overwhelming need to lock into a commitment on women; both scents are repulsive.
Finally, the shitty sound system that necessitated every single performer yelling into the microphone and the lame performances got to us and we left before the final reader. At least it was free.
Perhaps next month’s “Sunday Night Sex Show” will be better, but I don’t think I’m going to bother finding out.
I swear. True story.
Tags: Chicago, sexy?, words count
Categories: True Story.
[...] [To be continued ….] [...]
08.04.2011 18:57
GEE.
Sorry you had such a terrible time at my show. However, I’m guessing you’re fairly unfamiliar with literary readings because at the vast majority of series (with the exception of the Story Slam and 2nd Story) in this city and anywhere, people read from paper and are not required to memorize their stories. I’m sorry that the prizes were not fancy enough for your liking, but I pay for them myself and thus buy mostly cheap stuff because I’m not loaded. They’re just supposed to be silly trinkets, anyway. We have a lot of support and a huge, loyal, warm and wonderful audience- and pretty much little to no negative feedback from most people who attend. This is actually the first. I don’t mean this to sound rude, but I sincerely hope that you do not attend future readings. I like to think of SNSS as a safe, sex-positive space where people can tell very personal and intimate stories without being judged.
Sincerely,
Robyn Pennacchia
Hostess and Founder of The Sunday Night Sex Show
22.04.2011 11:51
I knew the prizes were meant to be silly, fun trinkets, and would not expect them to be any more than that. Condoms and vibrators are truly useful whereas my prize was not.
I would think that even safe, and sex-positive gatherings would have room for some criticism. If I did a shitty job of reading or storytelling (I have.) I’d want to be told (I was.) so I could improve. As the producer of the show, I would imagine you would want to pick good performers so the show is good, which requires a critical ear.
22.04.2011 13:32
For one, I think our readers are fantastic. For another, please understand that I have a big problem with exclusivity. Which is why, when people I don’t know come to my series, I greet them and try to make them feel welcome and included. I hug people after they’ve read I don’t ask people to “audition” for me, and I don’t ask them to submit things beforehand. In fact, if anyone would like to read, all they have to do is ask me. It would go entirely against the spirit of the series to do otherwise. It takes balls to read the sort of stories people do, and it’s a cathartic experience in a lot of ways for everyone involved. I don’t think you quite get it. In fact, I don’t think you get the whole lit reading thing in general, so most of your “criticism” does not make a whole lot of sense. I think perhaps you should stick to watching television.
23.04.2011 07:26
So what you’re saying is that you don’t produce a show so much as provide a forum for people to talk into a microphone. That’s fine, but that also means that there are going to be some performers/readers who are not entertaining or downright bad. The night I went was rife with that kind of performer. The “comedians” weren’t funny, and the readers went from long-winded and whiny to confusing as fuck. Perhaps some other nights are better, but I’ll not have a chance to find out since 1) I don’t want to take the chance of wasting another night being embarrassed for the people who are talking into the microphone and 2) you’ve asked me not to return.
If you’ve read other posts here then you know that I enjoyed the Moth and I plan to go back. If you’ve read other posts then you know that I used to attend Bawdy Storytelling on a regular basis and even told a few stories myself. If you’ve read other posts then you know that I don’t even have regular television to watch. I like leaving my home to be entertained by entertaining people. If not “get[ting] the whole lit reading thing in general” means I should be satisfied with mediocre to bad performance then I guess you’re right.
23.04.2011 12:31