[Here are a couple of true stories from a guest writer.  You, too, can see your smutty stories on Random Rim Jobs.  Just email me at ShazamChi@yahoo.com.]

1. I love Henry Rollins. I love him. LOVE. My best friend agreed to accompany me to the Metro on Clark St. to see the Rollins Band. This was late 90′s. I don’t really like the Rollins Band, but I liked him and his books. But I thought why not, he’s half naked and screaming and sweaty and it could be fun. We stood up in the balcony. I had a pretty good view, so no complaints. But, this dude behind me kept bumping into me and I kept moving away. He did it quite a few times, so in an effort to gain some personal space I put my left hand and on my hip, so my elbow was stuck out and wrist was resting on my hip and my hand was cupped at my side. (that boring detail is kinda relevant). This dude continued to push at me, I turned around and all I saw was a baseball cap and a GAP anorak. No face, it was too dark. I turned around and ignored him and focused on the reason for being there, watching my future husband scream his lungs out on stage. A few minutes later I felt something in my hand. It took me a good 2, 3 seconds to realize that it was also moving. Anorak Dude, as he is now known, had put his penis in my hand. At this point is was still soft and I could feel some denim and I also realized he was now directly behind me but off to the side. At first I was like you fucking pervert, and then something in my brain was clicked and I thought jacking off a stranger while watching Henry Rollins half naked and sweaty while extremely loud metal was playing was super hot. So I stood there, looked straight ahead while Anorak Dude got hard and finished in my hand. Then I walked over to my friend and said “Let’s go”. The concert wasn’t over and she was a bit confused. As soon as we got in the cab. I told her. We went to meet out friends at a bar and told them the story. If my best friend hadn’t have been there and kinda noticed the Anorak Dude, I’m not sure anyone would have believed me. The more likely scenario would have been me yelling at him to step the fuck back. But I guess it was the perfect storm for Anorak Dude, his lucky night. And I get to say I jacked off a stranger at the Metro during a Rollins band concert. This is my friend Mark’s favorite story about me, because at that time I was a really good girl. It just might have been the crack in my good girl foundation.

2. Last summer I was IMing with a boy, Brett, and he had a particular interest. He wanted to dirty chat and edge. When he was ready he wanted you to call him and either demand him to come or beg him to come depending on his mood. He was a super sweet and a little nutty and I had no problem obliging him. On our first encounter doing this, he wanted me to call him and beg him to come on my tits. He IMed his number and I called and I got a voicemail, which I thought was weird, but I left a message anyway. My message, went something like “Are you ready to come now? I want you to come on my tits now” or something like that. He was still on IM, so I typed “I just called you” and he replied “Funny my phone didn’t ring”. I was like “What? I just left a voice mail” and then I looked at his number and what I dialed. I had transposed two numbers. I was mortified. I IMed him, “Well, someone in Boston just got a very dirty voicemail”. When I did dial the right number, we laughed about what an idiot I was and we got down to business. The whole sexual dyslexia really worked to my advantage because he had a deep sexy voice and I could hear everything, which I enjoyed. He really just wanted me to hear him come. I didn’t have to say a word, I just listened to him moaning and his breathing change as he got closer. Listening made me really wet and I ended up coming for him as well, and no role playing at all. We did this several times over the summer. Ahh, Brett, I really remember him fondly.

I would also like to say that person I called did call me back at 3:30 AM, despite my pleading please don’t call back, please don’t call back while I fell asleep. I just let it go to voicemail and they never called back, thankfully.

Tags: come fun, disaster, fantasy, guest writer, idiot, manners, phone sex, yummy cock

Categories: guest writer

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