Holiday Hire (Part 1)
Posted on December 12, 2010I’ve been working. We’ve been planning a move. These are not excuses, just explanations.
Sure, I could have updated. Sure, I could have updated. I also could have not shown up for work on time, which on most days was 7:30 am. Sometimes later, sometimes as early as 6:30 am. And it’s true that I didn’t need the job – I was going to quit before I moved to Chicago anyway.
I had gotten the job by making a false resume, a resume that indicated I had gotten a lot less education than I had, ever. I have, of course, gone to junior college, university, and law school. Then I passed the California State Bar Exam and was (have been) thereafter – officially, legally, and otherwise – an attorney.
Macy’s did not not know that. As far as Macy’s was concerned, I went to junior college, worked for a little bit at various jobs (which did not require either college or law school degrees), and then “took some time off.” Macy’s didn’t ask, but if they had I was willing to disclose that I was lucky enough to have had a husband who had a good job, which meant I didn’t have to work while I was married. The folks at Macy’s never asked.
The folks at Macy’s merely “interviewed” me via a cattle call. That was 2009. It was a shitty time. Due to finances, my ex-husband and his girlfriend moved in with me into the condo my ex-husband and I owned together. He (they) were supposed to move in so between us we could pay the mortgage. They moved and soon thereafter Macy’s “wanted” me.
I went in for the money – which was paltry considering I had worked as an attorney – but mostly so I would be out of the place as much as possible. The “interview” consisted of a cattle call of about 50 people. Each of us was given a word laminated on a small card. The words were ridiculous in the “integrity,” “ingenuity,” and “imagination” vein. Not all the words began with I, but some of them certainly did.
The interviewees were asked how to integrate such i-i-i-things into their past employment histories. It was obvious that those who spoke up were looked upon favorably so I volunteered to speak. I was right.
I was hired in 2009 to work in the gift wrap department. I didn’t say anything about my “true” identity and happily worked next to oversharers and veteran Macy’s workers, none of whom knew I was anything other than a holiday hire. I worked when I was scheduled and otherwise did my job.
Once, I was casually chatting with a coworker whilst we were both wrapping gifts when a customer overheard. I had explained something to the coworker accurately enough that the customer said, “Wow, you know that! You’re pretty smart!” I smiled and nodded. I had figured out that it was pretty easy for people to underestimate me. I wasn’t sure if I should have been offended – did I look dumb?! – or flattered – it was easy for me to hide my true identity. Nonetheless, I tried my best to lay low (lie low?).
There were an array of employees at the gift wrap department. There were the old ladies who had worked there forever; Macy’s Union Square was apparently one of the last Bay Area stores that still had a gift wrap department. There were many of us who were holiday hires, which was obvious based on our collective work ethic of not doing much work at all.
I swear. True story.
[To be continued ….]
Categories: True Story.
[...] [Continued from "Holiday Hire (Part 1)."] [...]
13.12.2010 18:46
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