Hey asshole, you are not better than me.  You are not entitled because you have children.

As a matter of fact, your children are a pain in my ass.  Why should that be?  I didn’t have kids.  Barring some fucking miracle, I’m not going to have kids.  Yet I live next door to a school for which I have to pay a special property tax assessment.  I don’t give a fuck about your children.

The children are our future?  I don’t think so.  Chances are, I’m going to die alone after a few years of being out of my fucking gourd with Alzheimer’s.  Why the fuck should your children care?  They won’t.  So why should I care about them now?

I don’t.  I get annoyed when I see children at events that are supposed to be for adults.  The Viking and I have memberships to the Exploratorium AfterDark.  Many museums around San Francisco have weekly or monthly evening events meant for adults.  I know they’re meant for adults because they have bars set up throughout the venue.  Bars with liquor.  And beer and wine.  Things that are not appropriate for children.

Times when adults are drinking when they don’t want children around.  Of course I understand that the Exploratorium is for children; I went there when I was a kid.  I loved it.  I love it now, which is why I got the membership.  For AfterDark.  The Viking and I began going to the AfterDark events in February.  We’ve gone every month since.

For the most part we had fun.  We had a lot of fun.  We’d take a couple of buses to the Marina, go to a restaurant in the area, and then walk to the Palace of Fine Arts, where the Exploratorium is located.  We’d have dinner and then go to the Exploratorium.  The Exploratorium, where I had been many, many times as a child.

When I lived in Santa Rosa as a child, I’d often go down to San Francisco – mostly with my mother and mostly on weekends – for adventures.  The adventures would often include the Exploratorium and Golden Gate Park, where people roller skated all the time when I was a kid.

So I understood that the Exploratorium was for children.  That’s why when I heard about AfterDark I was excited for the Viking and me to go for recreational purposes.

When we went in February, March, April, and May there were children, for sure, but few.  Mostly, the kids who were there were infants with their parents; it was relatively easy to avoid them.  Then in June there were quite a few kids.  But nothing like July.

When we went in July we were amazed by all the fucking kids.  Mind you, we were not there during the day, when children seem to run things; we were there at night, on the one night a month when the Exploratorium was not meant for children.  The Exploratorium even has day camp, which, if I had children, my children, if they existed, they would attend.

What I would not do, even if I had little brats, would attend adult events with my progeny.  That’s just rude.

The July AfterDark event was overrun with children.  Overrun!  Very shortly after entering, which, due to our membership, was thankfully “free,” we realized there were children everywhere.

The reason we went in the evenings was to avoid children, yet there they were – in spades.  Because we had the membership, and because we had been going monthly since February, we agreed that staying any longer would have been tortuous.

On our way out I saw that the exhibit which demonstrated soap and surface tension wasn’t manned, which was unusual.  I ran over.  I was able to to make a “screen” of soapy water.  I was very happy that there was no one else at the exhibit who would block me from figuring out how the science worked.

Happy until some kid decided to tell me what I was supposed to do.  Apparently I should have stuck my hand in the soapy water and touched the soapy “screen.”  I told the fucker that I had no interest in getting my hands dirty; he seemed confused.  My hands didn’t get dirty and that kid should have fucked off much sooner than he did.

Just before going to August’s AfterDark event we read that beginning in October no one under 18 will be allowed into AfterDark.  Apparently, many people had complained.  Good.  Too bad August was our last AfterDark before moving.

When we went in August there were still a bunch of children around, which was unfortunate.  Unfortunate, too, were the parents with their strollers and need to rest from the pain in the ass that is toting children around.  The Exploratorium has a cool bench that is wired so that when two people sit on it, each with one hand on a copper plate, they complete a circuit when they touch skin-to-skin.  It’s an exhibit, not just a bench, to people who aren’t burdened with children.  To the idiots with kids who sat on it without realizing it was an exhibit.

The Viking and I went to the bench later.  We each put a hand on the copper plate and then held hands.  The bench is wired so music plays when the circuit is complete.  The music gets faster and more intense the more contact there is between the bench occupants.  A fun thing we discovered was that if we completed the circuit with my mouth and the Viking’s finger that the music was entertaining, and it changed as I sucked.  If there weren’t so many damn kids around, we might have been able to do it with my mouth and his cock.

I swear.  True story.

Tags: manners, SF love

Categories: True Story.

---