Geminis, Y’All (Part 4)
Posted on June 6, 2010[Continued from "Geminis, Y'All (Part 3)."]
There are way more famous Geminis than I knew.
Hot:
- Neeson, Liam (June 7): The rumor is he has a big cock. I believe it. He carries himself like a man with a big cock.
- Nicks, Stevie (May 26): LOVE Fleetwood Mac, the early stuff when they were fucking, fighting, and cocaine-ing. And Stevie. Love Stevie.
- Oz, Frank (May 25): I love the Muppets.
- Paul, Les (June 9): I love guitar-heavy rock ‘n’ roll.
- Porter, Cole (June 9): He was hip and homo. Love him. It’s the gay man in me.
- Portman, Natalie (June 9): She’s pretty and can actually act.
- Prince (June 7): I loved Prince when I was a kid. My sixth grade bedroom was plastered with Prince posters.
- Refaeli, Bar (June 4): Yeah, I think she’s pretty.
- Richie, Lionel (June 20): Who doesn’t love his early stuff?
- Ride, Sally (May 26): Sure, astronauts are cool.
- Rodriguez, Robert (June 20): I still dig El mariachi, and his story on Four Rooms was downright fun. Yeah, it’s been a long time since I’ve seen a new movie.
- Sara, Mia (June 19): Another sad-looking actress, but I liked her in Legend.
- Scott Thomas, Kristin (May 24): She does a good costume drama.
- Sobieski, Leelee (June 10): She used to be hot. She may still be, but I’ve not seen her in a while.
- Styron, William (June 11): I’ve not read any of his stuff, but I saw Sophie’s Choice one day on a whim. I recognized Meryl Streep, of course, but didn’t know what I was getting into until it was too late and I was crying.
- Wahlberg, Mark (June 5): He seems to have forgotten how to act recently, but I absolutely loved Boogie Nights, Three Kings, and The Basketball Diaries.
- Westheimer, Ruth (June 4): How could I not love Dr. Ruth? She pioneered the notion that sex should be enjoyable. I think I’ll go masturbate.
- Wilder, Gene (June 11): If you like you laugh you like Gene Wilder.
- Williams, Venus (June 17): Not into tennis, but Venus is damn cool.
- Wright, Frank Lloyd (June 8): Yes, a cool architect. I’ve toured his house in Oak Park, Illinois. Also, he was a cheater and a shit for leaving his family.
Not:
- Namath, Joe (May 31): Football?
- Oates, Joyce Carol (June 16): I think I’ve read one of her books. It was short and pretty lame. It was a very thinly veiled telling of the story of Ted Kennedy killing that woman.
- Obama, Sasha (June 10): She’s just a kid. I’m not too into kids.
- Olivier, Sir Laurence (May 22): He was supposed to be a great actor. I guess.
- Olsen Twins, The (June 13): What the fuck have they done lately?
- Popes Alexander (May 21) and Gregory XIII (June 7): The Catholic church is bullshit, and the popes are the kings of bullshit. I’m not sure which Alexander my source is referring to, and Gregory XIII may have been born in January and therefore not a Gemini.
- Reuben, Gloria (June 9): Another actress who always looks sad to me.
- Rivers, Joan (June 8): She’s really annoying now, but I think I used to like her back when she was kind of funny. Now she’s just freaky and nutty.
- Rushdie, Salman (June 19): I’ve never read his stuff, and he’s creepy looking, but he must be interesting and smart, right?
- Sanford, Mark (May 28): Hypocrites are shitheads.
- Shakur, Tupac (June 16): I have no clue why people loved him so much and continue well after his death.
- Spitzer, Eliot (June 10): Apparently Geminis have trouble being faithful. And like whores.
- Trump, Donald (June 14): He’s a douche.
- West, Kanye (June 8): Ditto.
- Young, Brigham (June 1): Look, another randy Gemini. Unfortunately, this one was Mormon. Creepy.
And we’re done. Thank y’all for the birthday wishes. Hope all you Geminis out there have great birthdays.
I swear. True story.
Tags: birthday
Categories: True Story.
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26.05.2011 21:18