Party, Frat Style (Part 3)
Posted on May 5, 2010[Continued from "Party, Frat Style (Part 2)."]
I walked down the hall to the bathroom. It was a large institutional bathroom with several sinks and several stalls. The floor was covered in 1″ square tiles. Nice, cool tiles. The tiles were so cool I laid down on them.
I laid down on the floor of a communal bathroom in a frat house. Obviously, I was not in my right mind. The bathroom was not tilted like the bedroom was, but it was spinning. The floor was not only cool, but being close to it lowered my center of gravity. Or something like that.
There I was, on the cool floor of the bathroom, not puking and minding my own business. I had gone into a stall but the stall provided no privacy since I was on the floor. I’m not sure how long I was there, but I was still and cool and felt reasonably ok considering the rules of physics had been violated – in my mind.
Two guys walked into the bathroom. They saw me there on the floor, of course. They were very nice. They asked if I was ok. I assured them that I was fine. They didn’t believe me, which was completely reasonable considering I was lying on a bathroom floor in a frat house. To further back up my story of me being fine, I stood up. Standing up was a long, slow, arduous process, but I did it without falling.
Once upright I attempted to engage my new buddies in conversation. I failed. They were concerned that this lone chick whom they did not know was camping out on the bathroom floor. I assured them that I was invited, that I wasn’t one of the people who had tried to crash the party earlier. Oh, I was invited, was I? Who invited me?
I’m not sure if what I did next was a mistake. Much like when questioned by the police officer when I had, just moments before, lost my virginity, I formulated in my mind the idea that telling a lie was better than just saying the truth. Only being as incapacitated as I was meant I was not able to articulate a lie. Instead, I repeatedly assured them that I was invited … by my friends. The wacky idea in my head was that I should not tell these two guys, frat brothers of my coworkers, the names of my coworkers because then they would be faulted for inviting this completely shit-faced girl who was lying on the bathroom floor to the party. I thought it would make them look bad, which may have been true.
But because I wouldn’t name the guys who had invited me to the party, my inquisitors didn’t believe that I was actually invited. My assurances didn’t seem to assuage them. So I offered to leave before they had a chance to kick me out.
I mustered up my strength and walked upright out of the bathroom. I made my way down the hall and up the stairs to the first floor of the house.
[To be continued ….]
I swear. True story.
Categories: True Story.
[...] [Continued from "Party, Frat Style (Part 3)."] [...]
23.05.2010 05:07
[...] [To be continued …..] [...]
29.08.2010 20:12