Random Rim Jobs
I swear. True story.I Want a New Tattoo
Posted on November 24, 2009
I want a new tattoo. Probably not something like this, though it is cute. I’m not the type to get cartoon tattoos, but if I were this would be it.
My next tattoo, as soon as I get the funds together to get it, is going to be a volume knob on my ribs just below my right breast. I welcome any ideas for design – shazamsf@sbcglobal.net.
How to Tell I’m Not Having a Good Time in Bed
Posted on November 22, 2009One would think these are obvious, but I don’t know how many times I was having a shitty time but the guy thought the sex was good. The sex is shitty to me if any of the following happen:
- Lack of sound. When I’m enjoying myself I can’t help but be vocal. Very vocal. If I’m in that perfect place where I’m no longer self-conscious and completely into being a sex object there is no way I can be quiet. It starts when I first kiss someone; I moan under my breath. This can be done whilst kissing. Eventually I yell out directions – usually of the “Harder!” variety – and when I come I do not give a shit who can hear me. If a guy needs me to be quiet he should gag me. If I’m quiet without a pillow over my face or a hand over my mouth that’s because I’m bored. Being bored in bed is no fun.
- Lack of movement. Unless I’m severely restrained I move a lot during the fucking. When I’m underneath my legs are wrapped around. When getting it from behind I’m pushing back to get that cock deeper into me. If I’m just laying there it’s because I’m bored. Being bored in bed is no fun.
- Blank face. Of course if I’m not being vocal my face isn’t moving that much. But even when silent my face will have some expression – if I’m having a good time. If I’m having an especially nice time I’ll have a big, dumb grin on my face. I’ve been known to have a wide-eyed “surprised” expression if something feels really good (which can mean it hurts a lot). If I have a blank look on my face it’s because I’m bored. Being bored in bed is no fun.
Sadly, there have been many times when I was a dead fuck – indicating I was not having a good time – but the guy didn’t have a damn clue. I’m getting way too old to put up with being bored in bed. The last time I was a dead fuck (that I know of) I finally just told the guy to stop. He wanted to continue of course, but I was done and didn’t have the energy to fake any sort of enthusiasm.
I swear. True story.
6/17/90: A Diary Entry
Posted on November 21, 2009Graduated two days ago. I feel like a bum because I don’t have a job and haven’t for almost a week now. Erica called me today – she said she missed me. I miss her – I think about her a lot. But I’ll get over it when I get busy. It should not be too hard to find a job in L.A. right?
I Want To Know Him
Posted on November 20, 2009I want to know him. I want to know his cock gets hard at the thought of me. I want to make him. I want to make him dirty.
Make him talk DIRTY. And have a cock shoved down my throat.
I want everyone else to think he’s clean cut. He will look so proper in suits. But I’ll know that underneath that suit he’s covered in tattoos. He has to hide them in proper company.
And no one knows he likes to suck cock. No one suspects. But he likes cock down his throat too. He’ll look so pretty with come on his face because it’s secret and dirty and few know that’s what makes his cock so hard. I’ll know.
I want to know him. With me he’ll be rough. He’ll know exactly how to fuck my mouth: Just like he likes his mouth used by cock.
I swear. True (fantasy) story.
Mistress Nut
Posted on November 19, 2009Shouldn’t this say, “This dominatrix makes it get done on demand”? Nonetheless, I like the ad campaign even if it doesn’t make me want to eat pistachios any more than I already do. The particular shade of green, which I’m sure is supposed to represent pistachio flesh, with black is visually stimulating. And if she can really crack a nut with a single tail that’s extra cool.
Shazam’s Turkey Chili
Posted on November 19, 2009Modified from “Turkey Chipotle Chili.”
2 large onions, chopped
8 cloves garlic, minced
fresh chilies to taste
3 T olive oil
2 T ground cumin
1 T chili power
1 lb ground turkey
2 canned whole chipotle chilies in adobo
1 27 oz can whole tomatillos, drained
2 14.5 oz cans diced tomatoes, undrained
1 7 3/4 oz can El Pato hot sauce
up to 4 cups chicken broth
1 bay leaf
1 1/2 t dried oregano, crumbled
2 t salt, or to taste
1 red bell pepper, chopped
2 4 oz cans fire roasted diced green chilies
2 cups corn
2-3 15 oz cans beans, rinsed and drained (can any mix of garbanzos, black, kidney, pinto, etc.)
1/2 cup chopped cilantro stems
Optional accompaniments: sour cream, cilantro, avocado, grated cheese, green onions, corn bread
In a large heavy pot cook onions, garlic, and some fresh chilies in the oil over moderate heat, stirring, until the onions and chilies are soft. Add cumin and chili powder and cook, stirring, until fragrant. Add turkey and cook, stirring and breaking up any lumps, until the turkey is no longer pink.
In blender or food processor blend chipotles with tomatillos and remaining fresh chilies. Add the blended mixture, tomatoes, El Pato, chicken broth, bay leaf, and oregano to turkey. Bring to boil and simmer for one hour or more, adding additional water if necessary to keep the turkey covered and moist.
Stir in bell pepper, canned green chilies, corn, beans, and cilantro stems and simmer until heated through.
Discard bay leaf and season with salt to taste. Serve with accompaniments, or not, I don’t give a fuck.
Can be kept and frozen – duh, use some fucking common sense.
Or, pay me to make some for you.
Note: This can EASILY be made vegan by leaving out the turkey and substituting vegetable broth for chicken broth. And use vegan sour cream and cheese to accompany.
5/22/90: A Diary Entry
Posted on November 17, 20099:44 am
Erica didn’t come home last night because she spent it in juvenile hall. She got caught shoplifting and got arrested at Tower Records at Birdcage. She only had one tape worth less than ten dollars on her so it would be petty theft. They were going to let her go until they (a) found out she was a she, (b) found out she was under 18, and (c) found out she didn’t live with her parents. I wasn’t with her – Shannon was. Shannon called me at work to tell me and I freaked out. Poor baby had to sleep in some con in a cell. Thank God she didn’t have either one of her pairs of Docs on ’cause she’s get her ass beat worse. She did have her shiny new patent leather creepers and leather jacket on though. She’ll probably come back barefooted and jacketless. I know she was totally scared but she’ll come back acting all tough like it was no be deal and she’ll probably go on shoplifting. She should’ve lied about her name and age. She has no i.d. so it would be able to be traced. Shannon said that the guys were amazed that she had no i.d. but she did know her Social Security Number by heart. So no matter what her mother has to find out to either pick her up or give permission for Dee to get her. Dee’s in Napa at some conference of sorts. So my poor sweet honey had to spend the night in a strange place probably with some big dykes who thought she was really cute. I slept with her pillow the poor baby.
