I am a slut.  This is my purse.

1. One of my vibrators.  This is a LELO Elise.  I like that it comes with it’s own little travel bag, but I wish the supposedly intuitive buttons didn’t require quite so much intuition to make the thing go.
2. Martini change purse acting as my wallet.
3. Many, many condoms of all sorts of varieties and sizes.  I even have a female condom, which can be fun for a change of pace.
4. Toothbrush.  I never know when I’m going to be out all night and morning breath is just rude.
5. Coach business card holder.  It was a gift from the Ex for my law school graduation.
6. Ticket stubs from the SF MoMA and the Academy of Sciences.  I’m well-rounded and shit.
7. Lube is fun.
8. A lady always has access to tissues.
9. Bus fare – it’s $2 to ride Muni now.
10. Gum.  I don’t like bad breath one bit – it fucks with kissing.
11. iPod.  I refuse to be stuck somewhere bored as shit so I always have this with me.
12. Phone.  Yes, kids, that is what phones used to look like before they started to do everything but make phone calls.  I’m not what they call an early adopter.

Notice what I don’t have:  Makeup and panties.  Don’t wear much of either.

I swear.  True story.

Tags: come fun, phone sex, SF love, toys, walking contradiction

Categories: True Story.

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