3/14/90: A Diary Entry
Posted on October 10, 200912:07 pm
Well, it’s really cool ’cause today already I’ve talked to both my mom and DJ about a place to stay when I graduate. But I want to move out now. DJ says I just have to be goal-oriented and look to June. Work more hours, make more money. I feel like I was gone a lot longer than two days – I thought it would take longer for me to be so comfortable around Erica. And I am. I don’t feel like I want to leave or I have to do something. I’m cool and I know everything’s gonna be alright. This time away really good for me I think. I had lots of fun and realized I could do that without Erica. She just wrote me a note that says she loves me more than anything – more than Juree even. But I wonder if it’s because Juree doesn’t want her back or they got into a fight or something for her to feel like that for me. It seems that this was almost too easy, maybe I’m denying feelings but I don’t think so. I feel really happy and I know I can do whatever I want to do. I’m not put under any [illegible] by anyone – especially my parents. “I haven’t felt so alive in years.” “God, it’s raining, and I’m not containing my pleasure at being so wet. Here on my own all on my own
1:58 pm
Betina Adams is really nice. I wonder if Dad and [Step-Mother] are going to try to talk to me. I only have to buy time ’til I graduate. I’m really glad I’m not super fat. it would be hard to move around. Chris L. has great arms – they’re really muscly. Yippee. Lisa – the girl at the peer counseling conference had her head shaved except for almost the very top – and that was really long and purple and black. She also shaved her eyebrows and painted them on so they went up really high. She carried around a little Oscar the Grouch and she had freckles across her nose. I like freckles on girls ’cause they make them cuter but not on guys ’cause they make them dumber. Anyway – we all got stoned – Lisa, Isaac (really cute, little chicken hawk, sweet, traded my skull earring for my neat face/mask one of his), Travis (I think but no, Justin, yeah, that’s it) – and I was really far gone. So Lisa and I and this other guy, Keith, were walking around together after we missed the seminar on reaching out to gay youth because I was walking so fucking slow. So the three of us were walking around together and I found myself dropping major hints about my sexual orientation. I kept hanging on her and tou
Tags: Diary, threesome, walking contradiction
Categories: Diary
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27.10.2009 20:37