Random Rim Jobs
I swear. True story.Eggplant Bruschetta: A Recipe
Posted on August 17, 20091 medium globe eggplant, cut up into 2″ pieces
2 medium onions, cut up into large chunks
4 to 6 large cloves of garlic, minced
3 to 4 gypsy peppers, stemmed, seeded, and cut into pieces
3 to 4 small summer squash, any variety, cut into pieces
olive oil
salt and pepper
fresh basil, cut into ribbons, to taste
tomatoes, either halved grape variety, or cut-up heirloom variety, to taste
baguette
whole garlic cloves
Preheat oven to 450ºF. Place all vegetables into a large rimmed baking dish (lined with foil if you don’t like scrubbing). Stir in enough olive oil to coat all the veggies, add salt and pepper, and arrange them evenly in the baking dish.
Roast the veggies for 30 minutes, stirring every 10 minutes. The edges of the vegetables will become slightly charred, so stirring is necessary. Continue to roast, stirring every 10 minutes, until the onions are caramelized and the remaining vegetables are soft, up to 50 minutes. Repeated stirrings will show the eggplant and squash to be gooey. While the vegetables are still hot, stir and scrape up the yummy bits from the bottom of the pan.
Allow vegetables to cool to room temperature. Separate the amount of the vegetable mixture needed for your intended use. Add fresh basil and tomato to make a chunky, gooey, yummy mixture.
Slice baguette into 1/2-inch slices and toast in the oven until golden. Scrape whole garlic cloves over baguette slices to flavor bread.
Serve toast and vegetable mixture so guests can assemble their own bruschetta.
The remaining vegetable mix can be stored, covered, in the refrigerator. Allow to come to room temperature, and add basil, tomatoes, and salt and pepper to taste immediately before use.
This is sexy, trust me. This is a very easy recipe that is tasty, vegan, contains a minimal amount of healthy fat, and shows you care just a bit. This is great as part of a spread with other things to put on the bread, a selection of cheeses, olives, and other snacky bits. And wine, of course. Or cocktails if you so choose.
NGB: A Fantasy
Posted on August 16, 2009We met at a park. We have a couple of mutual friends.
Cute. Found out he works very near my place. I told him to come to me when he was done with work.
But then … what if I went on a date to the restaurant where he works? And we’d recognize each other. We would make eye contact without my date noticing.
Then we’d just know that it was time to go to the bathroom. We’d be in a stall. I’d drop to my knees. Unbuckle his belt. Unbutton his pants. Smell him. Open his fly. Reach in. Feel the weight of his meat. Pull it out. Look at his face. Grin. Close my eyes. Open my mouth. Fill my mouth with cock. Suck. Lick. Bob. Grab his ass through his pants. Pull his cock deeper into my mouth. Drool. Gag. Try to be quiet. Stop caring. Eyes water. Nose runs. Thick cock all for me. Clutches my head. Pulls my hair. Thrusts deeper into my mouth. Whispers he’s going to come. Nod my head. Pull harder. Suck harder. Feel it pulse. Know I’ve done it. Happy. Swallow hot sexy dirty. Let some stay in my mouth so I can taste it. Suck. Suck. Swallow. Suck. Hear him sharply take in his breath. Suck. Pushes me back. Cock not in my mouth any longer. Sad. But oh-so-happy. Look up at him. Smile. Smile. Smile. Give him a peck on the lips. He smells his come on my breath.
Then I’ll go back to the dining room where I’ll drink and eat with my date. Then I’ll take my date back to my place, where I’ll suck his cock. He’ll come on my tits after pounding away at my pussy.
When my date leaves I’ll text NGB in hopes that he’ll come fuck me after he’s off work.
2/6/90: A Diary Entry
Posted on August 15, 2009So I was getting off on the sweat and all. then was breakfast (lunch) and
9:33 pm
Oh Erica, Not Again!
by Max Fatchen, from Funny Folk Poems About People 1986
Every time we go on the pier,
Or down to the sea, that is,
Erica says she’s feeling queer
And it make her poor head wizz.
Erica says she lied the land,
And here isn’t, alas, much doubt,
As soon as she steps on a tripper’s boat
Erica’s legs gve out.
Erica’s hands will clutch the rail.
She hears the timbers creak.
She wonders where the lifebelts are–
Or if we’ve sprung a leak.
There’s never a sign of storm or gale.
But mother’s crying “Quick!”
And so it’s just the same old tale.
Erica’s sick.
I thought that was cute. [Step-Sister]‘s on the phone with Wayne so I guess Erica won’t be able to call me back tonight. This weekend we’re going to Monterey so that means the whole time I’ll have to think about her and be depressed but not act depressed because then I would get questions asked of me and I don’t want to bother with that. I’ll go through withdrawls not because of the sex but just being with her. The times we’re alone together seem all the better and more intense because it is so few and quite far between. Just today after school Krystle, Amy, and she came over to make chocolate chip cookies and we kept looking at each other (looks become very important too) and finally I said I had to go get [Step-Sister], got [Step-Sister] to go downstairs and we kissed. It was so exciting just being able to be close to her. [Step-Sister] asked me why my mouth was all red. (It was a combo of smeared lipstick and teeth marks.) And of course I had to lie. Which I hate doing. I believe [Step-Sister] is quite suspicious though. Maybe I should just tell her. But then she would ask me all sorts of dumb questions about how we have sex, etc. and she would say something about me not being able to get a guy and settling for less. But that’s not true and I just don’t want her thinking that I’m scum or something. ‘Cause I’m not and I choose to do what I do ’cause I want to do it, not because I have to.
The weekend again. We were messing around, I had an orgasm. Or if it wasn’t I don’t think I’ll be able to stand the real thing. [Just thought about the day over at Juree's house when we were on the pone with Amy and when Erica was in the bathroom Juree came up to me and hugged me really close and probably expected me to do something.] Anyway I was screaming and all from pleasure and it felt as if I couldn’t stand it anymore. Anyway, it was both the best and worst feeling in the world. I felt like I was going crazy, to die, and to die all at once. I couldn’t say complete sentences because I was breathing so funny and jerking so much (my clitoris was being rubbed) and I thought I wouldn’t be able to stand it any longer. So after I came I guess Erica didn’t know it ’cause she kept going. I couldn’t understand how she could have kept going for so long. Finally I told her to stop but she would not. So then I said I wasn’t insatiable. I thought I’d cry from the pleasure and felt like my body couldn’t handle it any more. She told me she just wanted me to have an orgasm. I told her that I really, really thought I had. [My body got all tingly and sort of numb except the feeling between my legs then it gets to a point where I can't see and I just hold on until I can't any longer. With the release is when I scream and I have to say it was quite a beautiful thing. I'm sorry Erica didn't know I had one because I'm sure she would have liked to have known. I'll tell her next time.] But then again maybe I didn’t ’cause I still am not clear from other females on what they feel like. I want to have sex with Erica tomorrow. Well, actually, right now would be better but tomorrow will do.
I won’t even be with my honey this weekend so I don’t know what to do. Friday after work maybe we can do something, but what? Rent 9 1/2 Weeks and screw our brains out ’til I have to be home that night ’cause we’re leaving in the morning? I’ll probably die over the weekend not being able to see her face, her body, hear her voice, feel her touch. God, if I don’t finish this dumb weekend thing, I’ll die. Then we did some more (I lost count now of just how many times we’ve had sex) and I started telling her what to do. Like to slow down, or to be gentle. I told her to take off all my clothes and every time she’s speed up I’d make her slow down even slower than she was going before. She thought she was going to die but I knew she wouldn’t. So she said no one’s eve taken control before so she loved it.
She says I’m up to three fingers and I wonder if that just happened (One time Friday night she said what she was doing must hurt so that could have been when she put three in.) or if down in LA when I bled so much that’s how many/what she did. I’ll have to ask but that’ll be kind of embarrassing. (Shannon’s the one who asked about how many in the first place.) Very tired, have to urinate.
I’m a Size Queen (Of Course)
Posted on August 14, 2009My pussy is throbbing from a proper fucking.
I placed an ad on Craig’s List under w4m looking for guys with big cocks. My ad indicated that I wanted guys who had big uncircumcised cocks, but would settle for circumcised cocks, so long as they were LARGE.
I had three respondents. Rather, I had three guys’ cocks in me as a result of that one ad: Bike 
Messenger, Greek Guy, and Mr. RI.
Bike Messenger came over based on this photo of me. He said he’d been looking at it and couldn’t think of a reason why he wouldn’t fuck me. Which is, of course, flattering as fuck. He came over, fucked me, and then left. I had no fucking clue whether he qualified to respond to my ad because his cock never went in my hand or mouth, both easy ways to gauge size. While my pussy is amazing, it is not equipped with accurate size sensors.
We fucked, but I swear to fucking god that I don’t remember his cock AT ALL. I do recall that his back was covered with a tatto0-in-progress: a scene the artwork of which was only black ink. All of my tattoos are only black.
I didn’t hear from Bike Messenger again despite the fact that we had a decent fuck, a good chit-chat, and generally a pretty nice time.
I met Greek Guy at my favorite local dive bar. Over a few drinks he revealed that he was a school teacher at a private elementary school, and that his parents also lived in his neighborhood, Potrero Hill. After drinks we came to my house, where he revealed that not only was he Greek in heritage, but also in desires. I assured him that I was not an adolescent boy and he assured me that his desires were for adult woman ass, not boy butt.
Greek Guy and I had really good sex. He was uncircumcised, just like I like ‘em, but his foreskin did not retract all the way; his glans was never totally exposed. This was only a “problem” when I was giving him a hand job or a blow job since I was used to being able to pull the foreskin all the way back so I could look at and taste yummy cock head.
True to his predilection, he treated my ass very well. He licked, fingered, and finally put his nice thick cock into my ass. Then my ass rode his cock until he shot his load.
Greek Guy and I stayed in contact for a while but we didn’t fuck again. His schedule, and a burgeoning relationship, or some other bullshit, prevented us from getting together. I’m kind of disappointed about that one because we really did have a lot of fun. Well, I had a lot of fun and he sure seemed to.
The third guy I fucked as a result of my Craig’s List hunt for huge cock was Mr. RI. He was 24 and had just finished college in his home state of Rhode Island. Isn’t that cute? He even had his college fraternity tattoo on his arm. Very typical white boy, which usually isn’t my type.
What is my type is gorgeous, heavy, thick, meaty cock, and he had it. He also had a great body, but then who at 24 doesn’t? I felt very lucky to be fucking a guy with a huge cock, a nice body, and a cute face. And he could carry on a conversation. I forgot that there were eleven years between us because he didn’t act like an idiot.
I think he liked that he was welcome to pound all my holes as hard as he wanted. Apparently the college girls can’t handle that much dick. I can.
We fell into a kind of routine: He fucked me, hard, once a week. I tried to change things up, because I had heard kids have short attention spans. One week he fucked my pussy while I had a butt plug in my ass. Another week he fucked my ass, which, due to the wonderful size of his tool, had to be warmed up with toys. I bound his hands and blindfolded him so I could do whatever I wanted to him. We took showers together, with me on my knees with cock in my mouth most of the time. Pretty basic, but good, fucking.
He was gloriously uncircumcised. I loved to get my tongue up under his foreskin when his cock was in my mouth. And because his cock could take serious abuse I could pretty much gnaw on his foreskin. So much fun.
His balls. Thanks to Mr. RI I now love licking, nuzzling, sucking, and squeezing (gently, if desired) balls. They are a whole lot of fun.
Rim jobs. I like converting straight guys to the glories of rim jobs. Mr. RI learned, thanks to me, that he really, really, quite a lot digs his asshole licked. I love a straight guy who isn’t too uptight about his ass. Ass licking feels damn good. The zoned out look on a guy’s face when he’s getting his ass treated properly is truly beautiful.
Fast forward to August 13, 2009. I placed an ad on Craig’s List. I was NOT looking to get laid necessarily (more on that ad later, I promise), but the way CL CE ads work is that guys don’t even read them, just respond to them. And I arbitrarily sent one of the respondents the same photo, above.
He recognized me. Because it was Bike Messenger. He came over and fucked me quite well. His cock IS big. And fun. And this time it went in my hand and my mouth. Yummy. One of the great things I got to do last night was hand him the black box.
I have condoms all over my house. In my bedroom I have condoms on either side of my bed. On the passenger side of the bed I have two boxes, one black and one white. The white box contains lube samples and regular-sized condoms. The black box contains lube samples and large condoms. I handed Bike Messenger the black box so he could make his selection. That is why my pussy is throbbing from a proper fucking.
I swear. True story.
Sexy?
Posted on August 13, 2009The answer to the title’s question is probably not. Hormones. Girly stuff.
I had been skipping my periods with manipulation of my birth control pills. It wasn’t until I finally had a period after three months that I noticed stupid things like my emotions. I swear the fact that I was having a period or that there were hormonal fluctuations had gone by unnoticed for years.
Then I found myself crying, or wanting to cry, for no reason. Or irrationally thinking everyone hated me. (Actually, I think I realistically know that a lot of people don’t like me.) Maybe I didn’t notice because my life had been going pretty well, so my lows weren’t all that low.
Maybe I’ve begun to notice because I have so much fucking time to just think. No one should spend this much time in her own head.
I do think I’m a little nicer to guys I’m fucking now that I know, sort of, that what’s going on in my mind/body isn’t them. Hell, it’s not even me. It’s THE HORMONES.
So now I warn the guys, if I can, that if I cry when I come that it’s not a big deal and that they don’t have to freak out, run away, or turn overly sympathetic. That it just is, and while they feel helpless I feel supremely embarrassed because I truly cannot help myself.
And then I get HORNY. I want to be fucked constantly. ALL the fucking time. In my pussy, up my ass, down my throat.
I need cock to shove its way down my throat. I need my hair pulled–hard, I need my neck bitten–hard, I need to have my breath controlled, I need to bury my face in balls and lick and taste and smell. I need to lick a nice metallic asshole, bury my face between a nice pair of ass cheeks. And of course I want. I want.
I swear. True story.
2/5/90: A Diary Entry
Posted on August 12, 2009924pm.
Well, this weekend was productive. That same night on the phone, Erica assured me that everything was alright. So I spent the night Friday. We watched Aria and Crimes of Passion. They were both alright. Aria was little skits done by different directors, quite strange with lots of opera music. Something to watch stoned. Crimes … was good, sex move with a plot. So then we watched Bambi and all the time we, well at least I, really wanted Shannon to go upstairs so we could get on with our business. So she went upstairs and then came back down and of course by that time we were going at it. So she said something about her camera and at that point I was beyond caring. But then the flash went off, I couldn’t help but start laughing. She took I think one more picture and then I didn’t care. I thought she was there watching the whole time but she wasn’t. I think what I like a lot is the talking she does while she’s doing me. Anyway, she ate me out, which was not real bomb shattering but then I was going too much on what Amy said about when she did it to her. Amy said she just wanted to take her head and move it. So next time I’ll just let myself feel. So then I cried. It wasn’t until after some time and I think it was after I had an orgasm. But I started crying. And I wouldn’t let her go. I told Erica I was afraid she was going to leave me and I loved her so much and I didn’t know what I was going to do without her. [Maybe it's just sex that makes me feel that way. Could I, would I, be just fine without her?] She wanted to go wash her hands and mouth (for obvious reasons) and I wouldn’t let her go. [She wouldn't kiss me after and probably thought I was gross but it's just a human body.] She kept telling me she loved me but I still wouldn’t let her go. She finally told me to get dressed and turn the TV off and she’s be right back. So I did and she did come back and hugged me and held me close–she knew exactly what I needed. So we slept the whole night holding each other, which is actually the first time we’ve ever gotten to do that ’cause before we’ve always been afraid someone would see. Shannon’s mom was out of town thought, so it was alright.
I woke up to Erica touching me and hugging me close. That has got to be the best way to wake up, with someone you love so close. Anyway, I sort of lost track of how many times we did it and when we stopped for a breakfast break (I believe, though, that it was more like lunch time). Oh, but there was the time we were under the sleeping bag and it was sort of hot and then she got worked up, Erica started sweating and her back was all slippery and oh gee. She asked me if I was getting off on the sweat and I said most definitely yes. It was the clean, slippery kind of sweat from good, hard work.
An Experience
Posted on August 11, 2009[Another hot submission from a guest writer, this time from Max Hunt, @M_Hunt on Twitter. Imagine this in a British accent, which shall explain some of the spelling.]
For a long time during my late teens and early 20′s I had a fantasy of being fucked in the arse by a woman wearing a strap-on.
I have no idea where this came from; all I know is that it was something that I never got to experience due to the fact that I fell in love and got married. When that all went sour a few years back when I was in my early 30s, I decided that the little list of things that I had in my head, the sexual fantasies that I had never acted upon and that my now ex wouldn’t even entertain, these were the things that I was going to fulfill.
So, I created a profile on Alt.com, advertising myself as a recently divorced man of 32 who was looking for someone to use him as their sex toy… I joined the approximately 27 billion other men in my area that were looking for the same thing and began emailing women who looked as if they might want to help me with this… weeks passed, and I had nothing to show for it. In the beginning I admit I fell into the trap of writing a basic email and sending it to each person that I happened across that I liked the look of. You know the sort of thing:
“Hi there. Just found your profile and WOW, you are amazing…. Great pics. How would you like to meet up sometime.”
Nothing personal about the actual person, just something generic that I could send to lots of people in a short space of time, in the hope that I would get a reply. As time when on, I realised that this wasn’t helping and began to change the standard email some what:
“Hi there. Just found your profile and WOW, you are amazing…. Great pics. I see that you <insert something relevant gleaned from their advertisement> How would you like to meet up sometime.”
Whilst this wasn’t much more effort, I thought that this might help me a little. Having no Internet at home at the time, I was having to do this through my work computer and I really didn’t have much time or ability to spend hours looking at profiles and working out what to say to each person… and one day my total and utter lack of really trying actually bore some fruit.
Her name was Switch_69 on the site, and by a weird coincidence her real name was startlingly similar to the on-line name that I had chosen for myself, not wanting to give my real one so openly considering what I was looking for. She admitted to me that whilst my email to her was the usual basic crap, the fact that my name was so similar gave her a reason to write. Just a few lines and with that we began corresponding. The emails were plentiful and whilst I never kept any of them, having done an Internet clean out on emails and email addresses a while back, I can remember her tone was always friendly whilst being forthright and definitely very playful.
As time went on and she got to know what it was that I was looking for, as well as me learning what she wanted and would expect from me if we met… we decided to arrange something. I was due to go on a business trip during the summer months and as luck would have it, if I made a 150 mile detour it would take me right past her house. We set a date and a time, and she promised to meet me at her door wearing a school girl’s outfit that she had, as long as I promised to come into her house, rip the blouse off of her and fuck her right in the hallway… after she had shut her front door, of course. I agreed enthusiastically… by this time it had been a good 4 months since I had started living at my mum and dad’s again, and whilst the underside of my bed was littered with lone socks, discarded after nights of frustrated passion, I hadn’t got close to a real woman since then, and in fact a long time before ….
So, I journeyed up to see her, things rattling through my head…. She had sent me a few pictures of herself, mainly clothed and non pornographic as she at the time didn’t have constant access to a digital camera or web cam, but she had managed to send me a blurry picture of her pussy–which due to the aforementioned liaisons with socks, had me very excited–as well as a similarly blurred photo of her cleavage. She had described herself in great detail as having black hair, large breasts and long slender legs, and by that time we had spoken on the phone a lot, so I knew what she was going to sound like…. She had told me what she wanted to do during the day of our meeting, how much she wanted me to fuck her, and that she loved being tied up and blindfolded whilst she was licked and played with. She told me that she had a selection of dildos that she would like me to use on her whilst she was tied up and that if I performed to her expectations she would grant my wish and fuck me with her strap on… but only if she was satisfied….
I reached her house. I parked my car and walked up to and knocked on her door….
She opened it and my first thought was how tall she was. Now, looking back, I cannot remember us ever talking about how tall she was before I met, but I was struck by the fact that she was almost as tall as I… me being just shy of 6 foot. Whilst I initially found that intimidating, it actually became a turn on as I walked into her hallway. She was dressed as promised as a schoolgirl, albeit one from St Trinians… classic slutty look, with short skirt, white blouse unbuttoned at the top so her enormous breasts expanded out of her too-tight bra, and stockings, suspenders and high heels…. She was stunning, literally the image of how a fantasy school girl should look. The door closed behind me, and I turned towards her… What happened next was a blur…
I pushed her against the wall of her hall and kissed her hard, our tongues danced around each others’ mouths and my hands found her blouse and ripped it open… She sighed as I moved down and began pulling at her breasts and when totally free began sucking on her nipples. I moved down a bit more and lifted up her skirt to find that she wasn’t wearing any underwear, making it easy for me to bury my face into her pussy and begin to lick her. Apparently, this was either too uncomfortable for her, or not doing anything and she pulled me upwards and lead me to her living room where when she sat on her sofa with her legs wide apart, I went down on her once more. I pulled her legs over my shoulders and began licking her properly, one hand using its fingers on her hole and the other pulling at her tits as my tongue lapped at her clit as hard as she told me she liked it…. With my fingers getting deeper and deeper into her dripping wet cunt and my tongue licking harder and faster, I felt her hands on the back of my head pushing me harder down onto her….
Stopping to catch my breath she took her opportunity and pushed me back onto my back and freed my cock from my trousers. Straddling me quickly she began fucking me, my cock, shocked as it was not to have man-made fibre enveloping it, enjoyed itself far too much and far too soon and quickly I came inside her…
Immediately I realised I wasn’t wearing a condom … but that embarrassment soon disappeared from my mind when she climbed off me and lead me upstairs to her bedroom…. It was a small purple room, with a double bed, TV and a dressing table. On the floor was a box the lid of which was discarded to the side showing me a number of vibrators and bottles of lubricant. She lay down on the bed and demanded that I lick her properly, which I endeavoured to… Again, it was a blur, and I remember licking her, using a vibrator on her as I fucked her in the arse, tying her to her bed and making her suck me til I was hard enough to fuck her again… Doing many of the things that I had never found someone willing to do with me previously….
After a few hours, whilst watching some porn on the TV, I broached the subject and she agreed that she would at least attempt to fuck me with her strap-on. I went to the shower and gave myself a clean up at her request, making sure to clean inside my arsehole because of the obvious….Up until that point I had only had carrots and a tiny vibrator, which a friend to whom I had confessed my fantasy had bought me, up my arse so I adopted the position with a sense of nervousness and excitement. She talked me through it…
She began lubricating me from behind, her hand stroking my cock and making me hard as her other hand rubbed and worked the lube in and around my arsehole. She then began working a small dildo inside, as she said this would help loosen me up for her strap-on. It felt amazing, it stretched me nicely and as she began working it deeper and deeper, pushing against my prostate I began pushing back onto it. Seeing this, she decided that I must be ready and climbed into her strap-on. As I lay there on all fours, looking to the side and watching her buckle it to her, I began to get nervous again… It wasn’t small, she having told me that she liked using it on a girl that she often met for fun who liked to be fucked really hard, and I began to wonder if it would fit inside me, and what damage it might do…
She stood to my side, rubbing lubricant over the plastic cock that now hung impressively between her legs. She looked at me and began telling me what she was going to do, turning me on by side and calling me her slut and that she was going to fuck me till I screamed… And scream I did. Gently at first she pushed the head of the dildo against my arse, and when it was in a nice position she held onto my hips and began pulling me back. I felt it pop inside quickly and then begin to slide deep inside. Never has the term feeling full up applied more as I felt it stretch me wide with each gentle thrust that she made. My cock hardened with each push and slowly she began increasing speed. A few times I had to ask her to stop whilst I caught my breath as I couldn’t take it anymore, but whilst she acquiesced to my wishes, she didn’t take long before she started again and eventually she ignored my pleas for rest and fucked me harder and faster. I was being battered and I was loving it…
My cock was harder than it had felt since I was a teenager and with my head buried in a pillow, she reached round to wank me as she fucked me and that was all I could take… Being fucked by this amazing woman with the hugest breasts and what felt like a monstrous cock all the way inside me, I came again… my cum shooting down onto the towel she had placed beneath me and my arse contracting tighter round the cock making my orgasm wonderfully painful….
She withdrew slowly and insisted that I retire to the toilet quickly.. which when i did I soon realised why. Skipping over the details of that, I soon returned to the bedroom to recover. As we lay there, porn still on the TV, my hands wandering over her body and grabbing handfuls of her breasts, I wondered why it had taken me so long to get someone who would do that to me, and when I would have it again.
Before long, I got dressed, having to leave for my hotel and my meeting the next day and whilst we spoke a bit after that, sometimes via email and others on the phone, I never saw her again….
It was incredible, if you are a guy you really should try it…
