Ricardo, fat, stinky and stupid.

Why the fuck do you morons think it’s ok to wear that much fucking cologne? It’s so damn gross. Really.

Tonight’s guy showed up. He was fat. I might’ve fucked him anyway, but he was also wearing so much cologne that I could smell it from a block away. I’m not exaggerating.

He arrived at my place. Isis needed to go to the bathroom so I asked him to escort me out–didn’t want to leave him alone in my place. Just when we got out of my building I told him that it wasn’t going to work. His cologne was overpowering me.

I’m too fucking old to waste my time on fat smelly assholes. So he asked if he could get his bottle of tequila back. The idiot had left it in my place. I assured him that I’d return it. Isis went to the bathroom; the fat ass waited by my building’s front door.

Isis and I went in; we left him outside. I poured myself a generous portion of his tequila, the brand of which I’ve no clue, and then handed him his bottle and slammed the front door of the building.

He texted me, “I see you poured some for yourself,” then, “That’s fucked up,” and finally, “Fucking cunt.” Ahh, sexy.

Oh, and he’s bald and fat and the smell of his stinky cologne is still in my nose.

I’m pretty sure Monday’s date is off.  Shucks.

Oh, and he couldn’t find my apartment once he was in my building.  I live on the 2nd floor but he wandered around on the 4th floor for a while, stinking up the joint.  So he’s not only fat and stinky, but also stupid.  Yuck.

I swear.  True story.