My admiration for the German language was confirmed (and later reconfirmed) one night when I was watching the movie, the Lives of Others. It is a great, great movie in German with subtitles for those of us who need ‘em. I was enthralled by the story, of course, but I also found myself getting turned on. Of course.

I soon realized an orgasm was something I was going to have to have. I was in no mood to go out or to have someone over (I still needed to finish the movie), but I didn’t want “just” masturbate (though masturbation is a glorious thing).  I chose to post an ad on Craig’s List.

I think I posted it in Casual Encounters, but I KNOW I made clear that I was looking for phone sex only, in German, and that night.  The responses were varied, but none of them adhered to the requirements of the ad.

I had a few guys respond in German.  I know I made it clear that I wanted to have phone sex in German, but that I couldn’t understand it, but that didn’t seem to matter.  I know absolutely no German, so I couldn’t respond in German.  Besides, that just showed they didn’t read my ad carefully.

Other guys had clearly not read my ad at all.  It was becoming apparent that my desires were not to be fulfilled on such short notice.  I was going to have to settle.

I get turned on hearing any language I can’t understand.  Because of the movie I was in the mood for German, but other languages will definitely do.  I was horny, so I settled for a native French speaker.

He called me, said most everything in French, fast enough so I couldn’t understand despite my years of French in high school (so, really, hardly any), and I masturbated to orgasm.  I neither know nor care if he was saying anything that was actually sexy because it sounded sexy to me.

I swear.  True story.

Tags: CL idiot, foreign love, words count

Categories: Posts, True Story.

---

5 Responses

1. kaaaaaz:

   Goddamn you are the biggest whore this side of the Mason-Dixon Line.

   04.08.2009 01:42

2. shodan74:

   Congratulations relating the butt contest.
   Found you there and also the link to here. Will be enjoying your blog this evening with a good red wine.
   Perhaps there will be an opportunity to mix your non-existenbt German and my bad English via mail? As I#m a non-phoner….
   See you @ kink.
   Greetings from Cologne

   04.08.2009 23:06

3. shazamsf:

   Thank you so much. I’m very excited to get the Everything Butt access gratis.

   05.08.2009 00:33

4. Dry Fuck » Random Rim Jobs:

   [...] Russian.  I have a thing for languages I don’t understand spoken to me during sexy times.  German, French, Thai, Spanish, and now Russian.  He assured me everything he said was absolutely filthy, which [...]

   14.01.2010 01:59

5. The Day of Fuck (Cock No. 4) » Random Rim Jobs:

   [...] I know, I’m an asshole.  Whatever.  I have my preferences and that’s that.  I like German accents.  Thai accents hold a special place in my heart [...]

   26.04.2010 12:31