My admiration for the German language was confirmed (and later reconfirmed) one night when I was watching the movie, the Lives of Others. It is a great, great movie in German with subtitles for those of us who need ‘em. I was enthralled by the story, of course, but I also found myself getting turned on. Of course.

I soon realized an orgasm was something I was going to have to have. I was in no mood to go out or to have someone over (I still needed to finish the movie), but I didn’t want “just” masturbate (though masturbation is a glorious thing).  I chose to post an ad on Craig’s List.

I think I posted it in Casual Encounters, but I KNOW I made clear that I was looking for phone sex only, in German, and that night.  The responses were varied, but none of them adhered to the requirements of the ad.

I had a few guys respond in German.  I know I made it clear that I wanted to have phone sex in German, but that I couldn’t understand it, but that didn’t seem to matter.  I know absolutely no German, so I couldn’t respond in German.  Besides, that just showed they didn’t read my ad carefully.

Other guys had clearly not read my ad at all.  It was becoming apparent that my desires were not to be fulfilled on such short notice.  I was going to have to settle.

I get turned on hearing any language I can’t understand.  Because of the movie I was in the mood for German, but other languages will definitely do.  I was horny, so I settled for a native French speaker.

He called me, said most everything in French, fast enough so I couldn’t understand despite my years of French in high school (so, really, hardly any), and I masturbated to orgasm.  I neither know nor care if he was saying anything that was actually sexy because it sounded sexy to me.

I swear.  True story.