Poor me, I’m feeling really sorry for myself because I don’t know exactly what to do.  I need to work on graduating, which I’m not really worried about right now.  Not because I’m not thinking about it but because I just have to pass all my second semester classes and everything’ll be fine.  But what a screwed-up love life.  Now that I’ve been told that I’m on hold while Erica gets a more disciplined life.  But what if she goes back to Juree?  That’s what I’m so afraid of, oh and looking like the loser.  But I don’t want it all to be a personal contest.  Oh, today I did 6 reps of 135 lb. of squats.  I want to try to break the girls school record by the end of this year.  It’s something like 200 some odd lbs. but if I work hard, I’ll be able to do it.  I want to prove it to myself and also to show that my legs aren’t just fat.  I have muscle.  I think it would be so cool to be a body builder.  I need a trainer and learn to eat right, etc.

Tags: Diary

Categories: Diary

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