A Pussy by Any Other Name: An Exercise in Reader Participation
Posted on June 6, 2009I need other words for “pussy.” I like “cunt,” but even that gets old. A lot of the other words simply are not sexy.
- Fuckhole, hole, box, snatch, slit: nasty sexy if used in the right context;
- Twat: makes me think of a stupid person;
- Fly catcher: insulting;
- Honey pot: hot but easily slips into cheesy;
- Gates of Heaven: lame; if a guy said he wanted to enter my gates of heaven, I’d laugh my ass off, which would probably mess with his hard-on, but if during funny, silly sex it’d be ok;
- Gash: maybe, in a really dirty way.
And for the men: cock and dick are good, of course, but they’re sometimes overused.
- Fuckstick: funny;
- Prick, tool, rod: good, but could easily become silly;
- Willy, peter: the penis referred to as either of these is small.
I invite you, my dear readers, to comment with your favorite words for genitalia. I also want to know your reasons why they’re your favorite words. Please, be dirty as well as sweet. I want to know what your depraved minds think, and I want to know the history behind your love of the particular words or phrases. Comment with the most mundane and most creative, please. You can use some of the words I’ve used, so long as the story behind your choice is interesting.
The “winner” (which will be arbitrarily determined solely by me) will get a fun dirty (as in sans clothing) image of yours truly. Additionally, the “winner” will be featured in a a future post. Right now I’m interested only in words for naughty bits. If this goes well, in the future there will be more “contests” that will cover other topics.
Please spread the word, as the more responses the more entertaining for me, and y’all. This “competition” will be open for one week, until I post on Monday, June 15, 2009. I will make my final decision by Friday, June 19, 2009, and the lucky person will get said dirty picture just in time for a weekend wank. Comment as many times as you’d like so I have more dirty messages to read.
I swear. True story.
Tags: mmm pussy, words count, yummy cock
Categories: contest
My tuppence worth for the male genitalia are: knob, John Thomas, one eyed trouser snake, dong, todger, meat truncheon?
08.06.2009 07:09
It’s hard to come up with a favorite word for pussy. It’s like pussy itself, impossible to find a superlative way to describe it, because it’s always a treat. I’ve become partial to box, thanks in part to a mutual twitter friend of ours. I like the idea of adding modifiers to it, hot box, wet box, jewel box, fuck box, etc. I remember a girl I was sleeping with in college calling hers her “vertical taco”, got old quick, but was hot the first time she told me to eat it. There is something appealing about lotus, whether derived from the position or the flower itself, either way there is something exotic about it, but I can’t really picture myself saying it. During raw passion, I’ve used any number but I tend to default to pussy and less often cunt. Well those and when feeling more romantic, heaven, for obvious reasons.
08.06.2009 07:11
One of my favorite old world words for vagina is ‘quimm’.
08.06.2009 07:41
I have a habit of referring to the vagina casually as toot. Not sure how that started, but it’s great because it’s cute, and you can use it in casual conversation and people don’t start instantly eavesdropping on you!
08.06.2009 08:20
“joint” is an outdated cock term that should come back into vogue.
“choad” makes me think of ’80s porn.
“dude piston” and “ham wallet” make me laugh and sound like a potential entry in the Bulwer-Lytton fiction contest.
08.06.2009 08:41
“mmmmlph” fits both, I think.
08.06.2009 08:56
I’m a fan of “Chubby” to describe the public boner…. I suppose it’s the emphasis on girth vs. length. Ironically, “Schlong” also (dare I say as a straight man) comes easily to the tounge.
As for Pussy- well,more a description of action, I am a fan of “gilding the lilly.” it just works.
08.06.2009 13:48
Hmmm…I prefer “gear” for male genitalia because, like “toot,” it can be used in so-called normal conversation. However, I also prefer:
(Male)
Pleasure Column-architectural
Pleasure Lever-it rhymes
Thingy-OK, I liked Beavis and Butthead, so sue me:)
Lust Pacifier-you can only sate the lust, you can never get rid of it…this could apply to either gender, as well
Fuckstick-good and dirty…heh (thx, Billy Bob Thornton)
Percy-”Percy wants a kiss…”
Labia-parter-anatomical & descriptive
(Female)
Pleasure Palace-descriptive & poetic (think Kubla Kahn)
Whispering Eye-just saw the movie Role Models, but it’s cryptic enough people will (hopefully) not pick up on it right away
Pleasure Pocket-it is a pocket in a sense…
Thirsty Crevasse-Geological
Snapper-just always stuck with me, for some reason…
Tasty Treat-it is!
Well, that’s all I can remember/think of for now…I’ll post more if I think of it.:)
09.06.2009 05:08
let’s see for the sweet little box:
slit, coochie, hoo hoo (funny & silly but kinda cute), junk, down there, the Y (like eat at.. the Y).. i had something else but can’t remember.
for the boys:
junk, manhood (pretty lame, yes), boy parts, gentals (“i” purposefully omitted-more an inside thing bt me & another but still viable)..
i KNOW i have more terms. its late though. i’m sure they’ll come to me at the most inopportune times.
09.06.2009 22:39
When I’m not being serious, I always refer to pussy as cooter. For whatever reason, this really seems to offend people, which I just love. I once had a friend comment that she had not previously been aware that I had a redneck pussy. Others? Bearded clam, honey taco, tuna town, muffin, beef curtain, batter’s cage, fur burger, slash, beaver, hair pie, poon-tang or poonanny…ah…so many.
For men, gibbly bits or dangly bits always makes me smile as does meat and potatoes or frank and beans for the whole package. Because I do fisheries work, I have always had an affinity to trouser trout, and when someone’s fly is down, I get to ask if they are trolling for cocksuckers (which I am often happy to be on the hook for!).
Other than the ones you offer and a limited few others, not many that can be used without giggling.
10.06.2009 12:23
this is the worst, but Ax Wound
11.06.2009 07:53
cock: my fave is dingaling. i discuss my dingaling way too often, publicly and around the wrong people.
on an unrelated note, i frequently refer to my moustache/beard as my pussy tickler.
yeah, i know, i’m trash.
11.06.2009 20:35
For cunt: Mussel, clamp, dampness, prune.
Dick: nob, muscle, hardness
Not original maybe but hey they work :)
12.06.2009 06:56
Male: Purple-Headed Yogurt Slinger; tube steak; pocket rocket; (that’s all that comes to mind right now)
Female: rocket slot (see “pocket rocket” above)
When I’m being serious – writing, for example – I stick to the basics: cock, dick, shaft, pussy, slit, cleft, sheathe, etc. If you get too creative, it becomes silly and can completely ruin the mood/tone of a scene.
12.06.2009 07:32
My favorite word for cock comes from one of my all time favorite movies, ‘Young Frankenstein’:
Schwanzstucker.
Cracks me up every time I hear it.
As for female bits…I had a girlfriend once that referred to it as her ‘flower’. Thought it was kind of silly. Made sure I told her I deflowered her after we had sex. ;)
12.06.2009 07:42
I am reading a book right now where they used the term phallus. My first thought was that it was a turn-off in a technical sort of way like vagina (ew!), but then I though more about it, whispered it to myself, and actually, found it kind of dirty on a number of different levels. Somehow, it’s kind of dirty because it’s more of a technical term, not despite this fact.
12.06.2009 10:18
moss covered hatchet wound…
12.06.2009 15:00
cum dumpster
12.06.2009 15:00
You have enough words for ass you’re not soliciting suggestions?
Fish Taco, the Receptacle, love trap
Jack Hammer, Excalibur, magic wand, Trojan horse, Iron Sheik, Johnson, little Guillermo, the fertilizer,
12.06.2009 15:06
Btw, Dumpster is a registered trademark and therefore a proper noun.
12.06.2009 15:16
My favorite terms for cock are the ole bragiole (my Italian friend’s dad would use that term a lot growing up) and Alabama blacksnake (for black cocks)
The only other words for pussy I could think of are nappy dugout, and vagenious, but only cause I think they are funny
12.06.2009 15:41
Sometimes simple is the way to go. I like the term “it” for both cock and cunt (those being my preferred terms during the sex act or acts); proper usage: “grab it,” “suck it,” or “I can’t fucking wait to taste it.” I also tend to drift off before even getting to a word for the pussy, as in “god damn, i love pounding this fucking…” Language often fails us, and this failure is often more evocative than anything we could come up with.
There’s also “wet,” or “that wet,” which is probably just operating on the same idea.
12.06.2009 23:55
i like the word: whorebiscuit
i don’t know why. i just do.
14.06.2009 17:28
I always have found dickslot rather amusing though I’ve never used it myself
14.06.2009 19:38
For male genitalia, I like the street quality of “junk.”
14.06.2009 21:37
Cunt is my favorite word.
Because, it’s raw, powerful, blunt, and in your face. I had a patient one night that was a large biker guy, going thru DT’s. He was completely insane, the medication to calm him wasn’t working. I knew he’d get thru it ok, but it would take some time. He was tied to the bed, 4 points, as we call them. Every time I had to go into the room he’d spew obscenities at me. Mostly, he called me a cunt. My shift runs for 12+ hours, and this was getting old. I knew it was just his condition, so I tried to overlook it. Towards morning he must have called me “a cunt” a thousand times. It desensitized the word for me. I began to find it funny. i owe him a debt of gratitude because now when I hear the word cunt it brings a smile to my face. I like to use it in my writing because of it’s strong shock value.
I’d love to lick your cunt.
xxxx
Prax
14.06.2009 23:49
For the ladies:
Cunt is my fave cuz I love how harsh sound the “C” come out when saying it. There really is no sweetness to it but enough power that it’s really not that insulting. Kitty is my sweet “I’m going to tease you when down there” word. Its the cuddle name that you can say without being dirty.
Coochie is my ghetto term. Like you need to go wash your coochie. No shame in the game. LOL I like to throw it around when i’m talking shit about ppl. Like her pants are so tight, her coochie is screaming.
For the boys:
Cock-just goes well w/the Cunt word. Its a C-n-C nite!I use it more then Dick cuz I use Dick more as a personality type. “He’s a Dick” My fave saying. hahaha
*wink*
15.06.2009 00:47
Well, personally my favourite word for either cock or cunt is “Mine”..such as when someone points at my cock with a hungry look in there eyes and says “Mine”, before doing all sorts of depraved things with it… Makes me feel like a peice of meat, when my cock is refered to as such, and if i use it to another,that im abusing and using that person.
Meat is also good as a name for Cock.
Slidy bang bang place for Cunt is kinda offensive but funny too….
15.06.2009 02:21